AUGUST 19, 1946

Full News Archive

• Headline: City Workers Demand $50 Million Pay Rise. Impact: If city workers had simply accepted their measly pay, we would have never seen the birth of the modern labor movement. Picture this: without those $50 million demands, we might still be hand-writing our resumes on parchment, begging for jobs. Thanks a lot, union workers!. Fact: Did you know that $50 million in 1950 would buy you enough coffee to caffeinate an army of frustrated workers? No wonder they were demanding a raise!.
• Headline: Candidates Focus on Palestine Issues. Impact: If only these candidates had stressed the importance of pizza instead of Palestine issues, we might have had a much more peaceful and delicious world. But no, they chose to stir the pot instead of the sauce.. Fact: Fun fact: When candidates stress issues, it often leads to more arguments than actual solutions. So, pizza it is!.
• Headline: Remembering L. Trotsky's Legacy. Impact: The Trotsky Memorial was the start of a very niche tourism industry: revolutionary figure tourism. Who knew that people would eventually take selfies in front of dusty statues of long-forgotten political figures?. Fact: Interestingly, the Trotsky Memorial wasn't just a tribute; it became a hotspot for confused tourists wondering why they ended up in a cemetery..
• Headline: EVATT TO PROPOSE NEW WORLD COURT FOR HUMAN RIGHTS; Will Urge Paris Conference to Establish a Tribunal to Assure Full Freedom BACKS BYRNES ON ITALY Would Extend the Guarantees Sought in Ceded Territory to All Other Areas. Impact: Evatt's proposal for a new world court was the first step towards making bureaucracy fashionable. Now we have countless international courts that do absolutely nothing except provide a nice backdrop for diplomatic selfies.. Fact: Did you know that 'human rights' is just an elaborate way of saying, 'We think everyone should be treated decently, but let’s not get too crazy about it'?.
• Headline: SIFT ARMY RADIO SALE FOR $12.88 PER TON. Impact: The investigation into the army's radio sale was the catalyst for all future scandals surrounding government contracts. Today, we just call it Tuesday.. Fact: Did you know that selling damaged goods to the government is still a thriving business model? It's the ultimate 'I told you so'!.
• Headline: Topics of The Times. Impact: Topics of The Times reminds us that sometimes, the most important events aren't world-changing, but rather the mundane things that make us question our life choices. Like why we still subscribe to newspapers.. Fact: Fun fact: 'Topics of The Times' was actually a euphemism for 'We ran out of real news, so here’s a postcard.'.
• Headline: NEW CRASH KILLS FLIER 'LOST' IN WAR; Man Who Vanished in India Jungle for Three Months Dies in Pennsylvania. Impact: The tragic crash of the flier who was 'lost' for three months is a reminder that life can be stranger than fiction. Who knew that surviving in a jungle could lead to a tragic ending in Pennsylvania?. Fact: In a sad twist of fate, the flier's three-month jungle adventure was likely less perilous than the paperwork his family faced after his passing..
• Headline: SOVIET CONTINUES INDUSTRIAL PURGE; More Officials Are Dropped for Giving False Reports on Production in Plants. Impact: The Soviet industrial purge was the beginning of the end for many officials. It’s like a corporate downsizing, but with more gulags. Who knew falsifying reports could lead to such a dramatic exit from the workforce?. Fact: Did you know that in the Soviet Union, falsifying reports was a surefire way to get promoted—unless you got caught? Then it was just a one-way ticket to a very cold place..
• Headline: RUSSIANS UNWRAP JET FIGHTER PLANE; 2 Rocket-Propelled Craft Also Thrill Moscow Crowd as Soviet Holds Air Show. Impact: The unveiling of jet fighters at the Soviet air show marked the beginning of the arms race. Little did they know that this would lead to decades of tension and plenty of films featuring dramatic dog fights.. Fact: Fun fact: The first jet fighters were so impressive that they made everyone forget about the existence of the bathroom for an entire air show!.