JULY 5, 1946

Full News Archive

• Headline: Editor T.W. Noyes Passes at 88. Impact: The passing of T.W. Noyes sent shockwaves through the journalism world. Little did anyone know, his editorial decisions would eventually lead to the rise of clickbait headlines and the invention of cat memes, as editors scrambled to fill the void left by his departure.. Fact: Despite Noyes' long tenure, no one ever found out what the 'W' in his name actually stood for. Some say it was 'Witty,' but others think it stood for 'Whatever.'.
• Headline: VINSON FARED WELL IN COURT HE HEADS; Six of New Colleagues Dealt With 24 Rulings Appealed From District Bench REVERSED IN THREE CASES He Was Upheld in Another and Reviews Were Refused in All the Others. Impact: Vinson's court rulings created a domino effect that led to more legal jargon in everyday conversation. Soon, everyone started quoting legalese, and 'objection!' became the new 'hello' at parties.. Fact: Vinson's favorite pastime was making up fake legal terms just to confuse his friends. 'Preposterousness' was a crowd favorite..
• Headline: CZECHS BUILD SHRINE FOR A U.S. SOLDIER. Impact: The shrine built for a U.S. soldier in Czechoslovakia inadvertently sparked the tourist boom in war memorials worldwide. Today, people travel to see the 'Shrine of the Unknown Soldier' just to take selfies.. Fact: The soldier selected for the shrine was reportedly chosen because he had the best haircut in the unit—a true testament to the importance of grooming in memorials..
• Headline: VETERAN PRIEST HONORED; 50th Year of Father Mueller Observed at Monastery. Impact: Father Mueller's 50th anniversary sparked a nationwide trend of priests celebrating anniversaries with themed parties. Soon, the Catholic Church was known for its extravagant milestone celebrations, complete with cake and a DJ.. Fact: Father Mueller’s first mass featured a surprise guest appearance by a local choir, which is why it’s still talked about in hushed tones to this day..
• Headline: COLUMBUS NEGRO SETS A CIVIC PACE; CONEY ISLAND HAS ITS LARGEST CROWD OF ALL TIME. Impact: The civic pace set by the Columbus Negro community led to a national conversation about inclusivity in the workplace. This sparked a series of 'Diversity Days' that were mostly just awkward icebreakers and bad coffee.. Fact: Coney Island's record crowd was later attributed to a massive promotion involving free hot dogs, proving once again that food trumps all social progress..
• Headline: World News Summarized. Impact: The summarization of world news by 21 Allied nations set off a competition for the most concise headlines, leading to the invention of the haiku news format. Spoiler: it never really caught on.. Fact: Many of the nations involved in the summary later regretted their participation, realizing nobody really wanted to read about their latest agricultural policies..