APRIL 1, 1946

Full News Archive

• Headline: GOP Leadership Shuffle in 1946. Impact: If Reece or Danaher had taken the chair, the GOP might have turned into a premier reality show, where the only requirement was to be 'loyal'—but only if you were loyal to the right kind of shady backroom deals!. Fact: Did you know that political harmony is often just code for 'let's all agree to ignore reality'? Welcome to the GOP!.
• Headline: Truman's Yacht Cruise on the Potomac. Impact: Truman's weekend cruise on the Potomac probably inspired generations of politicians to take more vacations and less accountability. Why solve problems when you can just sail away?. Fact: Did you know that Truman once said he didn't trust people who didn't like dogs? So, if you criticize his yacht trips, you might want to bring a pup to the debate!.
• Headline: The Circus Is Caught With Its Hair Down, But It'll Wear a Bright Tiara by Thursday. Impact: If the circus had actually worn a bright tiara, it could have sparked a fashion revolution in the entertainment industry, leading to clowns becoming the new style icons. Who needs Paris when you have pie-throwing?. Fact: Fun fact: The term 'clowning around' originally referred to a circus act, not to politicians during budget meetings. Go figure!.
• Headline: Estimates of Local Boards Raise Doubts That Draft Will Meet Army Needs for April. Impact: Doubts about the draft meeting army needs may have led to a frantic scramble for bodies, which eventually inspired several Hollywood blockbusters about the futility of war. Thanks, local boards!. Fact: Did you know that farm workers ending strikes often leads to more food on your plate? Or, in this case, a less hungry army? Choices!.
• Headline: MARSHAL GORT DIES; BRITISH LEADER, 59; Chief Commander of Forces at Dunkerque, Later Governor of Gibraltar and Malta RESCUED 325,000 TROOPS Ex-Commissioner of Palestine Was Soldier Since 1905-- Attlee Pays Tribute. Impact: Marshal Gort’s death might have led to a ripple of military reforms, and if you squint hard enough, you can see how it eventually influenced the formation of the 'Dunkirk Spirit'—because what’s more British than a good rescue?. Fact: Respectfully, Gort's role at Dunkirk is a poignant reminder that sometimes it takes a catastrophe to unite people—and then they can argue about it later!.
• Headline: CITY PAY RISE IS URGED; Mayor Asked to Act on $340 Increase for Low-Pay Group. Impact: If the city pay rise had actually been approved, it may have set off a chain reaction of other cities following suit, leading to the Great Pay Revolution of the 21st century—imagine the chaos!. Fact: Fun fact: Asking for pay raises has been around since the dawn of time. It’s almost as old as the phrase 'just go ask your manager.'.
• Headline: MASONIC IDEALS LAUDED; Chaplain Sees Human Solidarity as Only Hope for Future. Impact: The lauding of Masonic ideals might have inadvertently sparked a movement for global peace, or at least led to some very extravagant potlucks. Human solidarity, but make it fancy!. Fact: Did you know that Masonic lodges often have secret handshakes? Because nothing says 'brotherhood' like a good, old-fashioned handshake!.
• Headline: How Area Members Voted In Congress During Week. Impact: The roll-call votes of NY, NJ, and Conn could have ignited a political fever where everyone gets to pretend their votes actually matter, eventually leading to the vast array of political memes we see today. Fact: Fun fact: Congressional roll calls are often as thrilling as watching paint dry, but hey, at least the paint doesn’t argue back!.
• Headline: 'VETS' TAKE FEDERAL JOBS; 45,000 Placed in February, Making 654,000 in Three Years. Impact: The placement of 45,000 veterans in federal jobs might have kickstarted a movement for veterans' rights, leading to the eventual establishment of a federal holiday where people just sit around and reminisce about their service. Fact: Did you know that the government actually has a 'Veteran's Day'? It's like a birthday party for people who had to deal with far less cake and way more chaos!.