MARCH 21, 1946

Full News Archive

• Headline: Mayor Discusses Budget Challenges. Impact: This mayor's budget talk led to a historical chain reaction where citizens eventually became so bored with local government that they decided to elect a reality TV star as mayor. Thanks, O'Dwyer!. Fact: Did you know that talking about budgets is a great way to clear a room? Just ask any accountant..
• Headline: Austrian Protests Against Allied Controls. Impact: The Austrian protests led to a series of misunderstandings that eventually resulted in a popular folk dance: the 'Protesting Polka.' Not very effective, but at least it got people moving.. Fact: Fun fact: Protesting with rhythm can sometimes distract from the actual issue, much like a catchy jingle..
• Headline: AAF Recruitment Caravan in New England. Impact: The Army Air Forces' recruiting drive paved the way for future generations to think that joining the military was as easy as signing up for a gym membership. Spoiler: It's not.. Fact: Did you know that 'highways of New England' sounds way more exciting than it actually is? It's mainly just roads and more roads..
• Headline: Phone Union Reorganizes. Impact: The phone union's reorganization set off a chain reaction that eventually led to the invention of voicemail, which some argue is the modern equivalent of 'please leave a message after the beep'—the most dreaded phrase in the history of communication.. Fact: Did you know that telephone unions were once considered the coolest kids on the block? They had all the best lines!.
• Headline: ROBERTS GETS BOK AWARD; Former Justice Is Honored for His Service to Philadelphia. Impact: Roberts receiving the Bok Award inadvertently sparked a trend in naming awards after obscure historical figures, culminating in the eventual 'Best Cat Video of the Year' award.. Fact: Did you know that not all awards are created equal? Some just come with a fancy dinner and a slightly awkward speech!.
• Headline: Food Conservation Appeal. Impact: The plea for food conservation led to a widespread panic about food shortages, resulting in a fad diet that somehow included eating only canned beans for a month. It didn't go well.. Fact: Did you know that conserving food is a great idea unless you're my cousin who thinks it means hoarding pizza in the fridge?.
• Headline: Pay Rises to $7,500 Possible. Impact: The potential pay rise led to a domino effect where employers started offering 'competitive salaries', which now translates to 'we'll pay you just enough to keep you from quitting.'. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'possible pay rise' is basically corporate code for 'we're doing our best to avoid bankruptcy'?.
• Headline: 2 DEMOCRATS IN DOUBT; Schupler and Sullivan Likely to Oppose O'Dwyer Bills. Impact: The Democrats' uncertainty over O'Dwyer’s bills led to a glorious tradition of political indecision that is still being perfected today, with politicians mastering the art of saying nothing while looking busy.. Fact: Did you know that 'political indecision' is just another term for 'let's see how many meetings we can have without actually reaching a conclusion'?.
• Headline: CHIEFS ASK A RISE IN ARMY, NAVY PAY; Patterson and Forrestal Tell Senators a 20% Increase Would Attract Skilled Men. Impact: The chiefs' request for a pay rise sent shockwaves through the military, resulting in an arms race of salary increases, which eventually led to the practice of military personnel starting GoFundMe pages.. Fact: Did you know that asking for a 20% pay increase is like asking your cat to stop ignoring you? Good luck with that!.
• Headline: TRADE UNITS PLAN 'MARCH ON ALBANY'; Anti-Sales Tax Committee to Send Delegation Monday to Fight O'Dwyer Levy. Impact: The anti-sales tax committee's planned 'March on Albany' created a legacy of protests that eventually turned into the modern-day 'March for Everything', where everyone has a cause and a catchy slogan.. Fact: Did you know that marching is a great way to get your point across? Just be prepared for blisters and a lot of shouting!.