JANUARY 20, 1946

Full News Archive

• Headline: France Waits for Response on Veto Rule. Impact: This little waiting game led to a domino effect of diplomatic indecisiveness, resulting in France accidentally becoming the go-to expert for 'how to keep your friends guessing.'. Fact: Did you know that French officials have perfected the art of waiting? It's basically a national sport at this point..
• Headline: Vassar President Discusses Student Integrity. Impact: MacCracken’s insistence on linking education to consent and integrity triggered a generation of students who now believe they can negotiate their way out of homework—thanks, Vassar!. Fact: Fun fact: 'Consent' in the classroom used to mean asking for permission to borrow a pencil. Now it’s apparently a life philosophy..
• Headline: Beatrice Lillie Arrives in the US. Impact: Beatrice Lillie's arrival sparked an international comedy renaissance, leading to an era where everyone thought they could be funny—spoiler alert: they couldn't.. Fact: Did you know Beatrice Lillie was so funny that even her reflection would laugh at her jokes?.
• Headline: NOTES ON SCIENCE; Diagrams Defy Camouflage-- Tickling Electric Eels. Impact: The electric eel experiments led to an unexpected surge in 'electric' puns in scientific circles, forever embedding bad jokes into academia.. Fact: Did you know that tickling electric eels is basically the scientific version of poking a bear? What could possibly go wrong?.
• Headline: NEW ZEALAND BUYING EQUIPMENT FROM U.S.. Impact: New Zealand's equipment purchases from the U.S. initiated a series of awkward exchanges where Kiwis tried to explain sheep farming using American slang.. Fact: Did you know New Zealanders have a special talent for making any machinery sound like a sheep? Baaa-rilliant!.
• Headline: MISS HENRY IS WED IN FLORAL SETTING; A BRIDE OF YESTERDAY AND A BRIDE-TO-BE. Impact: Miss Henry's wedding marked the beginning of a long-standing tradition where every floral arrangement is now judged against her big day. The pressure is on, florists!. Fact: Fun fact: The phrase 'a bride of yesterday' was actually coined because no one could remember her name after the ceremony..
• Headline: 7 Killed in Sparta Reprisals. Impact: The tragic events in Sparta set off a series of political dramas that would eventually inspire countless soap operas and conspiracy theories about 'who really runs the government.'. Fact: The only thing more complicated than the political situation in Sparta? Trying to explain it to someone who doesn't watch dramas..
• Headline: Boom and Bust: An Economist's Warning; Bankers and business men can find lessons for today in the 1929 stock market collapse.. Impact: The warning from economists about the 1929 stock market collapse has rippled through time, pushing generations to invest in things like Beanie Babies and Bitcoin.. Fact: Did you know that after the 1929 crash, bankers were advised to take a vacation? It didn’t help the economy, but it did improve their tan!.
• Headline: A Molder of Minds. Impact: The publication of 'Our Roving Bible' led to a brief obsession with philosophical debates about whether a Bible can actually roam, influencing many future road trip playlists.. Fact: Did you know that 'Our Roving Bible' is not a travel guide, although it definitely has a better sense of direction than most lost tourists?.
• Headline: The French Genius; The French Literary Genius. Impact: Saintsbury's insights into French literature inadvertently caused a surge in French café culture, where everyone pretended to be a literary genius while sipping overpriced coffee.. Fact: Did you know that reading French literature is scientifically proven to make you 100% more pretentious? Bon appétit!.