JANUARY 16, 1946

Full News Archive

• Headline: Clothing Retailers Urged to Specialize. Impact: Had Sunderland's advice been ignored, the fashion industry might have devolved into a dystopian world where everyone wears the same bland jumpsuit, courtesy of chain stores. You're welcome, individual fashion sense.. Fact: Apparently, advocating for specialization is like telling a cat to stop being a cat. Good luck with that, Sunderland!.
• Headline: Historic Leadership Change in Manhattan. Impact: The election of bd chmn and pres likely set off a chain reaction of mediocre meetings that are still echoing through boardrooms today. The thrill of bureaucracy, folks!. Fact: You could fill a library with the number of 'important' meetings held since this headline, but no one would read it. Spoiler: they’re all boring..
• Headline: Veterans Adviser Appointed at Teachers College. Impact: By appointing an adviser to veterans, we unknowingly started a trend of bureaucratic red tape that would haunt future generations, leading to endless forms and wait times.. Fact: Lt Col C Linton probably thought this role was going to be all about helping veterans, not filling out paperwork until the end of time..
• Headline: Named Aide to Labor Secretary. Impact: This appointment may have been a catalyst for a series of labor policies that led to the modern labor movement, or it could just mean more coffee breaks for J W Gibson. Who knows?. Fact: J W Gibson was probably thrilled to be tasked with making labor laws more exciting. Spoiler: it didn't work..
• Headline: Books--Authors. Impact: This novel contest may have sparked a literary revolution or at least a few awkward dinner conversations about unpublished manuscripts that no one wants to read.. Fact: Dodd, Mead & Co's idea of a 'novel contest' is just a fancy way of saying they want to sift through piles of mediocre prose. Good luck with that!.
• Headline: Byrd on Union Duties; His Bill Likely to Be Central Point in Congress' Effort to Curb Strikes. Impact: Byrd's bill likely ignited a series of debates that would lead to labor strikes being as common as coffee breaks. The more things change, the more they stay the same.. Fact: Krock’s comments on Byrd’s bill were probably more entertaining than the actual bill itself. Who doesn't love a good political roast?.
• Headline: BONUS PLAN STUDY IS VOTED IN ALBANY; Joint Bipartisan Committee Will Submit Findings for Action This Session. Impact: The bipartisan committee's findings may have led to a slow expansion of veterans' benefits, or at least a few awkward committee meetings where no one agreed on anything.. Fact: When politicians say 'bipartisan,' it usually means they’re about to agree on something that benefits them while leaving everyone else confused..
• Headline: HAROLD G. WEBB; Architect Had Been Engaged on a Medical Center Hospital. Impact: Harold G. Webb's architectural designs could have influenced medical facilities for decades, or he could have just been another guy with a ruler and a dream.. Fact: Being an architect sounds glamorous until you realize it often involves more math than creativity. Good luck with that, Webb!.
• Headline: FREDERICK GRIFFIN, WAR REPORTER, 56. Impact: Frederick Griffin's reporting on war might have changed public opinion on conflicts, or at least made people more aware of how chaotic it all is. Thanks, Griffin!. Fact: War correspondents are the brave souls who bring us the news, often while dodging bullets. Talk about a tough job!.