DECEMBER 4, 1945

Full News Archive

• Headline: Veterans Seek Homes in Military Barracks. Impact: The influx of veterans into converted military installations sparked a housing trend that led to the creation of hipster colonies in abandoned barracks. Fast forward a few decades, and you have artisanal coffee shops where soldiers once slept. Who knew PTSD could lead to lattes?. Fact: In the end, those barracks were probably more popular than the actual military bases—they sure do have better views!.
• Headline: Packard Parts Ship from GM Plant. Impact: The shipment of Packard parts was the beginning of the end for GM's monopoly on mediocre cars. If only they'd known this would lead to a world where consumers would be bombarded by a dozen different brands of 'reliable' vehicles that break down after 5 years.. Fact: If you think about it, each Packard part shipped out was just one step closer to the invention of the minivan. Thanks, America!.
• Headline: Schacht and Seyss-Inquart's IQ Ratings. Impact: The high IQ ratings of Schacht and Seyss-Inquart led to an unforeseen future where 'genius' became a buzzword, and everyone started labeling themselves as 'innovators.' Now we have influencers with IQs that are probably lower than their follower counts.. Fact: It's ironic that two people with genius IQs were part of a regime that was anything but wise. Maybe they should've stuck to trivia night instead of world domination..
• Headline: Argentine Bishopric Tells Catholics to Vote Against Anti-Peron Democratic Union Ticket. Impact: The intervention of the bishopric against the Democratic Union ticket inadvertently led to the rise of political apathy in Argentina. Who knew that telling people how to vote would result in them just not voting at all?. Fact: You have to love the irony—religious leaders telling people how to vote while many of their own followers were just trying to figure out how to vote on what to have for lunch..
• Headline: ONE WORLD AIRLINE M'CARRAN'S AIM; Again Offers Federal Control Bill and Says We Are Now Tied to Foreign Cartels. Impact: The push for federal control over airlines marked the beginning of the never-ending saga of air travel regulations, leading to a world where you now have to sell your kidney to afford a carry-on bag. Thanks, McCarran!. Fact: If only the airline industry had taken a hint from McCarran's aim; maybe we wouldn’t be living in a world where peanuts and pretzels are considered gourmet snacks..
• Headline: Plane Losses on Ocean Flights Will Be Cut To Vanishing Point, Boeing Official Predicts. Impact: That prediction about cutting ocean flight losses led to a world where flying became the safest form of travel, but only after we all collectively held our breath during turbulence. Thanks for the anxiety, Boeing!. Fact: Boeing's optimism about safety was so high that they probably thought the ocean was just a big swimming pool. Spoiler: it's not..
• Headline: ITALY AND HUNGARY TIED TO WAR PLOT; COMMUNISTS PICKET THE STATE DEPARTMENT IN WASHINGTON. Impact: The unearthing of Italy and Hungary's war plot led to more conspiracy theories than you can shake a stick at. It also gave rise to a generation of armchair historians desperately trying to connect every dot, creating the ultimate rabbit hole of nonsense.. Fact: Who knew that the war plot would inspire so many late-night conspiracy podcasts? Welcome to the 21st century, where history is just a click away and completely fabricated!.
• Headline: Army Turns Down Mayor On Release of Policemen; Can't Comply With Request Impossible to Grant to All Others, Says Patterson-- Crime Wave Arrests Decrease FREEING OF POLICE REFUSED BY ARMY. Impact: The army's refusal to release policemen set a precedent for government inefficiency that would be studied in political science classes for decades, ultimately giving rise to the phrase 'it's not my job.'. Fact: Imagine being in a position where the army says no to releasing police officers—just think of the paperwork involved. If only they could've just sent a group text!.
• Headline: WILSON DELAYS COMMENT; GM Head Says He First Will Study Truman's Telegram. Impact: Wilson's delay in commenting on Truman's telegram led to an explosion of procrastination that would haunt politicians for generations. Now, waiting for a response is standard practice—just ask anyone who’s ever sent a text.. Fact: This might be the first recorded instance of political FOMO. Who knew the big wigs were just as bad at responding as your average teenager?.
• Headline: COUNCIL TO GOVERN CREDIT IN FRANCE; National Body Will Have Wide Powers Over Banks and Economic Ministries. Impact: The establishment of a national body to govern credit in France led to a chain reaction of economic regulations that eventually resulted in long lines at banks, and the dire need for coffee across Europe.. Fact: This is basically how the French invented the café culture—because if you have to wait in line for your money, you might as well enjoy a croissant while you’re at it!.