NOVEMBER 10, 1945

Full News Archive

• Headline: R L Brown Appointed Sales Manager. Impact: R.L. Brown's ascension to General Sales Manager led to the eventual creation of the 'Sales Manager Hall of Fame', where the winners are honored with a bottle of overpriced whiskey and a plaque that nobody actually wants.. Fact: Did you know that sales managers are often mistaken for actual managers? It's a common misconception that they manage anything other than spreadsheets..
• Headline: GM Reports $36.7 Million Quarterly Profit. Impact: GM's profits signal the beginning of the 'Corporate Speak Era', where companies began to use elaborate jargon to disguise the fact that they were losing money faster than a gambling addict at a casino.. Fact: Did you know that 78 cents per share isn't even enough to buy a decent cup of coffee these days? Talk about inflation!.
• Headline: Stamford Labor Dispute Escalates in 1945. Impact: The Stamford labor dispute led to the creation of the phrase, 'Union Bickering', which has since been adopted by all family gatherings during holiday dinners.. Fact: Did you know that the primary ingredient in a labor dispute is a heaping dose of stubbornness mixed with a sprinkle of insults?.
• Headline: Two Die in Cargo Plane Crash. Impact: The cargo plane crash prompted stricter safety regulations for the aviation industry, ultimately leading to the invention of the inflatable airplane seat – because nothing says safety like a giant balloon!. Fact: Did you know that cargo planes are actually just flying trucks? They don't even get the luxury of a nice cockpit view!.
• Headline: Church Honoring Pastor For 10 Years of Service. Impact: This church honoring its pastor sparked a nationwide trend of churches celebrating mediocrity, leading to a new holiday: 'Pastor Appreciation Day', where mediocre sermons are rewarded with gift cards.. Fact: Did you know that pastors typically receive a lot of love... until they suggest a change in the church's seating arrangement?.
• Headline: REDS IN MANCHURIA BID CHIANG KEEP OUT; Cancel Chungking Talk--Say Armies Plan to Fly In--Navy Denies Taking Sides REDS IN MANCHURIA BID CHIANG STAYOUT Hope to Start Push Soon Other Garrisons Different Flights to Manchuria Seen Marines Happy Over Shift Ships Ready for Marines. Impact: The Reds in Manchuria led to a series of diplomatic blunders that eventually caused the phrase 'Keep Calm and Carry On' to become a British favorite, proving that sometimes the best response to chaos is just to sip tea and ignore it.. Fact: Did you know that Chiang Kai-shek once tried to trademark the phrase 'Thank you, next'? Spoiler alert: it didn't go well..
• Headline: 3 HELD IN $25,000 THEFT; Express Men Seized by FBI in Interstate Shipment Case. Impact: The FBI's swift action against the thieves led to the creation of a popular TV show, 'America's Most Wanted', proving that crime doesn't pay… unless you're on TV.. Fact: Did you know that the real heist here was stealing our attention with yet another crime show?.
• Headline: BARGAINING HURDLE CLEARED AT PARLEY; Taylor Says Delegates of Labor Management Fully Accept That Principle WLB SETS UP PAY AGENCY Will Operate After Board Expires--Vandenberg Attacks Unions Violating Contracts. Impact: After the bargaining hurdle was cleared, labor management discussions became the favorite pastime of politicians, leading to countless hours of people talking about labor without actually doing anything to help labor.. Fact: Did you know that labor negotiations are just like watching paint dry, except the paint might actually get something accomplished?.
• Headline: LADY WOOLLEY; Authority on Antiquities, Wife of British Archaeologist. Impact: Lady Woolley's authority on antiquities inadvertently led to the rise of amateur archaeologists in basements everywhere, who now think they can discover a lost civilization by digging up their backyard.. Fact: Did you know that most 'antiques' found in people's attics are actually just old junk? But hey, one person's junk is another person's Instagram post!.