NOVEMBER 2, 1945

Full News Archive

• Headline: Eagan's Stand on Louis-Conn Bout. Impact: If Eagan had let Jacobs license slide, boxing might have become as popular as knitting among hipsters, sparking a bizarre trend of underground knitting matches in abandoned warehouses. Who knew yarn could pack a punch?. Fact: The Ring Magazine has more drama than a soap opera, but at least the punches are real..
• Headline: Soviet Child Care Exhibit Unveiled in NYC. Impact: The Soviet exhibit may have inspired a wave of artistic propaganda that could have led to the first 'Soviet Hipster Art Movement,' featuring ironic paintings of tractors and collective farms that would dominate galleries in Brooklyn.. Fact: 34 photographic panels? That’s almost enough for a full Instagram feed! #SovietArt.
• Headline: MAGUIRE DEMANDS END OF MILK ROW; Mayor's Adviser Wants Dispute on Skip-a-Day Deliveries Ended by Tonight NEITHER SIDE WILL YIELD Half of Trenton's Supply Is Tied Up by Strike as Union Seeks Metropolitan Pay Farm Problem Seen. Impact: If Maguire had succeeded in ending the milk dispute sooner, we could have avoided the Great Milk Crisis of 1952, where people resorted to black market cheese trading. Who knew dairy could be so dramatic?. Fact: This milk row is the only time people have fought over dairy that didn't involve pizza toppings..
• Headline: Georgia Frees Burns, 'Fugitive From Chain Gang,' After 23 Years; Board Hears Him and Governor Arnall, Telling of Exemplary Life Since Robbery, and Lets Him Off on Time Served. Impact: Burns' release could have inspired a trend of prisoners becoming motivational speakers, leading to a new reality show called 'From Chains to Change.' That might've changed the world one inspirational quote at a time.. Fact: 23 years in a chain gang? That's longer than some sitcoms last!.
• Headline: SAFETY QUERIES READY; Million Pamphlets Being Taken Home by Children From Schools. Impact: The safety pamphlets handed out might have led to a generation of overly cautious children, resulting in the first-ever ‘Children's Safety Conventions’ where kids debated the merits of helmets for walking.. Fact: Nothing says 'fun' like a million safety pamphlets! Kids must have loved bringing those home..
• Headline: BILL TO CUT TAXES BY $5,920,000,000 GOES TO PRESIDENT; Senate Almost Unanimously Votes Measure and Truman's Acceptance Is Indicated DEEP '4l SLICE FORESEEN Hope for $5,000,000,000 Drop for Individuals Voiced--12 Million Off Rolls in '46 12,060,000 to Go Off Rolls SENATE APPROVES TAX CUT MEASURE 1946 Tax Cut Predicted by Taft. Impact: The tax cut bill might have sparked a nationwide movement where every citizen began demanding tax reduction parties, where people gathered to celebrate with confetti and exaggerated savings calculations, turning accountants into party planners.. Fact: A $5,920,000,000 tax cut sounds great until you realize it’s just a fancy way of saying the government is giving you back a dollar after taking ten!.
• Headline: ARTHUR RUDOLPH; Tennis Professional in Hartford Instructed Leading Players. Impact: If Rudolph had made tennis more popular, we might have seen a world where tennis was the official sport of diplomacy, with leaders settling disputes on the court instead of in meetings. Imagine the Wimbledon Summit!. Fact: Rudolph was known for his famous line: 'Why hit the ball when you can hit the net?' Genius or just confused?.