OCTOBER 7, 1945

Full News Archive

• Headline: New Trade Census for Drug Industry. Impact: The five-year trade census led to the establishment of the 'Market Mystics' club, where members predict market trends while wearing tinfoil hats. Who knew drug pricing would one day depend on astrology?. Fact: The first drug price was actually determined by a game of rock-paper-scissors between pharmacists..
• Headline: Storage Techniques for Summer Bulbs. Impact: The storage of summer-flowering bulbs sparked a world-wide obsession with bulb-based interior design, leading to the infamous 'Bulb Chic' movement of 2025. Don't ask how many people got hurt in the process.. Fact: Bulbs were once considered a luxury item, only available to the aristocracy, who used them to impress their neighbors and scare off potential invaders..
• Headline: De Gaulle's Hopeful Visit to Brussels. Impact: De Gaulle's tour was the catalyst for the 'Western Bloc Synchronized Swimming Team.' Who knew diplomacy could lead to synchronized splashes and political backstrokes?. Fact: De Gaulle once tried to swim across the English Channel to prove a point, but he was immediately stopped by the British Coast Guard..
• Headline: Other Recent Fiction; Other Recent Fiction. Impact: The publication of 'Other Recent Fiction' was the spark that ignited a literary revolution, leading to the eventual rise of the 'All-Caps Genre' where every book was written in shouting. It was a loud time in literature.. Fact: The most famous author of the 'All-Caps Genre' was actually an angry typist who had a vendetta against lowercase letters..
• Headline: ALUMINUM PLANTS SOUGHT FROM DPC; Reynolds Metals Company Bids for Leases of Properties in Arkansas and West SPEEDY ACTION IS URGED Many Mills Closed and Labor Reported Scattering--New Uses for Metal. Impact: The quest for aluminum plants led to the infamous 'Aluminum Wars' of the late 20th century, where nations fought over who could build the sleekest can. The world was never the same.. Fact: Before aluminum became popular, people used lead for everything—until they noticed that it made them feel a bit sluggish..
• Headline: OPENING DRIVE FOR FUNDS TO AID PARALYSIS VICTIMS. Impact: The opening drive for funds to aid paralysis victims inadvertently inspired a new genre of motivational speeches that encouraged people to run marathons while seated. It's all about perspective!. Fact: The first fundraiser for paralysis victims involved a potato sack race, which ended in chaos but raised a surprising amount of money..
• Headline: Curb to Admit Stock. Impact: The Curb's admission to NYCE dealings marked the dawn of a new era in stock trading, where stocks were literally thrown over a curb to see which ones would bounce back. It was a wild time.. Fact: The term 'stock market' originated from a misunderstanding at a chicken farm where farmers were trying to sell their 'stock' but ended up trading hens instead..
• Headline: Mountbatten Will Move. Impact: Mountbatten's move to Singapore triggered a series of events that led to the first international 'Headquarters Relocation Olympics' where nations competed to see who could set up their offices the fastest.. Fact: Mountbatten was actually a champion at packing boxes and once won a bet by fitting an entire office into a single suitcase..