AUGUST 31, 1945

Full News Archive

• Headline: La Guardia Supports Employment Bill. Impact: La Guardia's support for the employment bill led to a chain reaction of politicians claiming they would finally address the economy, causing future generations to develop 'political hangover' as a formal term.. Fact: Taft's spending critique was so impactful it inspired a new genre of 'how to spend without really spending' seminars..
• Headline: Parking Fees Spike Sparks OPA Inquiry. Impact: The parking fee rise sparked a movement that eventually led to the invention of ride-sharing apps, which then caused everyone to forget what parking actually is.. Fact: City parking regulations are so strict that even the Ghostbusters would have to pay a fine for double parking their Ecto-1..
• Headline: Victory Ball for Service Club. Impact: The Victory Ball set off a wave of benefit events that eventually spiraled into the modern-day gala culture, where people spend exorbitantly to eat tiny hors d'oeuvres for a good cause.. Fact: The term 'victory ball' originated from a time when actual balls were thrown to celebrate wins; no one knows what happened to the balls..
• Headline: Bracken Heads Corporation. Impact: Bracken's election as chairman caused a ripple effect that led to future corporate heads believing they were the kings of the world, resulting in some questionable hairstyles and even more questionable decisions.. Fact: Bracken once tried to introduce a 'bring your pet to the board meeting' policy, but it was swiftly shut down after the goldfish made an executive decision..
• Headline: BELDOCK WINS PLEA FOR SPECIAL JURY; Group to Be Impaneled Next Month Will Sift Charges That O'Dwyer Staff Was Lax WIDE POWERS CONFERRED But New Prosecutor Says He Will Not Make His Inquiry a 'Fishing Expedition' No Quest Into Other Fields. Impact: The special jury inquiry into O'Dwyer's staff failure led to the creation of the phrase 'fishing expedition' in legal jargon, forever changing the way lawyers approach their lunch breaks.. Fact: The last time a prosecutor claimed they wouldn't make their inquiry a 'fishing expedition,' they ended up with more fish than a sushi restaurant..
• Headline: PREDICTS 87% RISE IN '46 PRODUCTION; Krug Survey Indicates a Sharp Output Increase Even Before the Year Is Ended. Impact: Krug's production prediction led to a bizarre phenomenon where factories started producing everything in excess, including scented candles that smell like regret.. Fact: The last 87% rise in production occurred when someone mistakenly thought it was a stock market term instead of an actual business forecast..
• Headline: Auditions for City Symphony. Impact: The auditions for the City Symphony led to the rise of countless wannabe musicians, many of whom still believe they can perform at Carnegie Hall after a few lessons.. Fact: City Symphony auditions are notorious for the number of people who show up with instruments they can't play—like the person who brought a bagpipe to a string section tryout..
• Headline: FAILURE OF A SYSTEM. Impact: The failure of military and political cooperation after Pearl Harbor spawned countless conspiracy theories about government cover-ups, some of which are still hot topics at family dinners today.. Fact: The phrase 'failure of a system' has been used so much in history that it could be the title of a bestselling novel—if only anyone bothered to read it..