AUGUST 16, 1945

Full News Archive

• Headline: Okinawa Casualties Post-War Updates. Impact: The unfortunate casualties in Okinawa led to a sudden spike in the use of butterfly motifs in fashion, as people mistook them for symbols of peace, forever linking the war with the rise of hipster aesthetics in the 21st century.. Fact: In a shocking twist, the butterfly effect theory was actually inspired by a butterfly that flapped its wings and caused a chain reaction leading to the invention of the modern-day stress ball..
• Headline: Girl Picks Headstone for Fire Victim. Impact: The little girl’s choice of headstone for the unknown victim inadvertently sparked a nationwide movement for better identification of victims, leading to the creation of a new line of headstones with customizable emoji options—because nothing says 'rest in peace' like a smiling poop emoji.. Fact: Hartford, Conn. is also home to the Mark Twain House, where the author once quipped, 'The secret of getting ahead is getting started... or just picking the right headstone.'.
• Headline: Tragic Boxing Injury Claims Young Life. Impact: The tragic passing of the young boxer led to an unexpected surge in the popularity of bubble wrap, as it became the new go-to for parents worried about their kids getting into any sort of rough sports.. Fact: Boxing was originally a way for gentlemen to settle disputes until someone decided that a ring would make it more civilized. Spoiler: it didn’t..
• Headline: DR. JOSEPH REGAN, CHILD SPECIALIST; Head of Kings Milk Board Dies --Former Professor at Long Island Medical College On Several Staffs. Impact: Dr. Regan’s death marked the end of an era in child care that led to the rise of questionable parenting advice on the internet—because nothing says expertise like a blog post by someone who thinks 'cry it out' is a parenting strategy.. Fact: Dr. Regan could have been a contestant on 'Survivor: Pediatric Edition' if only he'd known that outliving your competition is the key to success..
• Headline: CAPT. H.E. STENGELE, NAVY FINANCE OFFICER. Impact: Captain Stengele's passing left a gaping hole in the Navy's finance department, which led to a series of unfortunate budgeting decisions, ultimately resulting in the Navy's ill-fated venture into underwater basket weaving.. Fact: Navy finance officers are often mistaken for accountants, but the real difference is that accountants can’t make a ship disappear—unless it’s tax season..
• Headline: $800 FIND NOW IS HIS; Bank Guard Receives From Police Treasure Dropped on Floor. Impact: J.J. O'Donnell's $800 find triggered a nationwide treasure hunt craze, leading to the invention of the 'finders keepers' clause in modern law—a legal loophole that has since caused more family feuds than Thanksgiving dinners.. Fact: The concept of finders keepers is still debated among children at playgrounds everywhere, proving that some arguments truly never change..
• Headline: A CORDUROY CLOTH USED IN MANY WAYS; NEW STYLES IN CORDUROY--OUTSIDE AND INSIDE. Impact: The resurgence of corduroy in fashion led to a bizarre trend of corduroy couches and wallpaper, creating a generation of children who thought the 70s were making a comeback—in a very itchy way.. Fact: Corduroy was once considered 'the fabric of the future'—until someone realized that future fashion trends tend to favor comfort over texture..
• Headline: Books of the Times; They Make Up a Company. Impact: The quirky makeup of 'E' Company resulted in a series of corporate retreats that inevitably led to the invention of team-building trust falls—because everyone loves a good lawsuit.. Fact: Companies that try to build camaraderie through awkward icebreakers often end up with more frozen relationships than new friends..
• Headline: FRUIT PRICES DROP TODAY; Ceilings on Most White Potatoes Also Cut by the OPA. Impact: The drop in fruit prices caused a temporary spike in smoothies and juice cleanses, leading to a generation of health enthusiasts who thought kale was the answer to all of life's problems—until it wasn’t.. Fact: The OPA’s influence was so strong that it’s rumored that even the local squirrels started debating the price of acorns..