JULY 30, 1945

Full News Archive

• Headline: Proving Grounds for Combat Vehicles. Impact: Ed's discussion about combat vehicle grounds led to a series of awkward military strategies. Imagine generals debating whether to use tanks or just really well-placed lawn chairs.. Fact: This event sparked a heated debate over military landscaping that still rages in obscure military forums..
• Headline: The Charter: Security Council Provisions. Impact: The Charter provisions for Security Council military forces created a loophole that resulted in a secret society of squirrels forming their own militia. Watch out for the acorn army!. Fact: The only thing more confusing than the Security Council's decisions is the number of times they've redefined the term 'peacekeeping'..
• Headline: Tribute to Mrs. Sol Stroock. Impact: Mrs. Sol Stroock's passing triggered a chain reaction in social work policies, leading to the creation of over 20 new welfare programs. Coincidentally, no one actually knew how to fund them.. Fact: Mrs. Stroock was known for her ability to make social work sound like a thrilling adventure, one that ended in tragedy that still echoes in community centers..
• Headline: Books of the Times; His Hero Too Much a Type A Year in the Belgian Congo. Impact: Shaw's critique of a Type A hero in the Belgian Congo led to a sudden surge of overly ambitious characters in literature, paving the way for every anti-hero trope since. Thanks, Shaw!. Fact: The phrase 'Type A' was later adopted by overachievers everywhere, confusing the rest of us who just want to binge-watch TV..
• Headline: SERVICE FOR W.R. SHEEHAN; Leading Screen Executives at Rites for Pioneer Producer. Impact: W.R. Sheehan's service attracted leading screen executives, sparking an industry-wide trend of using funeral services as networking opportunities. ‘Networking at the Grave’ became the next big thing!. Fact: Sheehan was rumored to have pitched a movie about a funeral director turned superhero. Spoiler alert: It never got made..
• Headline: WEST'S ALL-STARS WIN, 9-6; Negro Leagues' Annual Contest Draws 31,714 at Chicago. Impact: The East-West All-Stars game led to a revival of interest in the Negro Leagues, inspiring a future generation of players to claim they could hit a home run while blindfolded. Spoiler: They can’t.. Fact: The 31,714 fans in attendance were actually a record number, but only because they had free hot dogs..
• Headline: MAN HELD IN LOW BAIL IN SHOOTING OF FOUR. Impact: The shooting incident led to a series of low bail reforms that somehow ended with people literally being released for jaywalking. Go figure.. Fact: This shooting incident was so shocking that even the local pigeons started taking self-defense classes..
• Headline: JAPAN REJECTS. Impact: Japan's rejection of negotiations led to an awkward dinner party where everyone pretended to be fine with the decision, but secretly plotted their next move. Spoiler: It involved sushi.. Fact: Japan's rejection was so definitive that it inspired a popular meme about the 'art of saying no' which went viral on social media..
• Headline: TWO OPA MEASURES SIGNED BY MAYOR; Sharkey Bills Add to Penalties for Retail and Wholesale Food Price Violators. Impact: Mayor LaGuardia's signing of the OPA measures inadvertently led to the creation of a black market for cornflakes. Breakfast was never the same.. Fact: These measures were so popular that people began to wonder if food price violations could also apply to avocado toast..