JULY 21, 1945

Full News Archive

• Headline: R L Watkins Co Div Resumes Operations. Impact: If R L Watkins Co hadn't resumed work, we might still be living in a world where we have to hand-pick our drugs from nature like cavemen. So, thank you, R L Watkins Co, for saving us from the Stone Age!. Fact: Fun fact: The company vacation was actually just an elaborate ruse to perfect their coffee break strategy..
• Headline: Acquisition of Dorris-Heyman Co.. Impact: This acquisition probably set off a chain reaction that led to the creation of the most confusing corporate names in history. We can only wonder how many 'Dorris-Heyman' related companies will pop up in the next decade.. Fact: Spoiler alert: Buying companies is basically the grown-up version of playing Monopoly—except there’s no 'Go to Jail' card!.
• Headline: 44th Division Returns Home from WWII. Impact: The return of the 44th Division likely inspired a surge in 'welcome home' banners, which eventually led to the invention of the inflatable lawn decoration. Thanks, guys!. Fact: Did you know that the Queen Elizabeth is not just a ship but also a great place to catch up on some quality napping while crossing the ocean?.
• Headline: DRESS TRADE HAILS OPA COURT SETBACK; But Doubts Wage Ruling Issued in Philadelphia Case Would Be Applicable in This State. Impact: The dress trade's elation over this court setback probably inspired several shady backroom deals that eventually led to the rise of online shopping. So, thanks, OPA Court!. Fact: It's ironic that dress manufacturers cheered for a setback while we still can’t find a dress that fits us perfectly. Thanks, fashion industry!.
• Headline: TRIALS OPEN AUG. 9 IN ALBANY INQUIRY; Judge Orders Jurors Called as Prosecutor Asks Action 'Before Political Campaign'. Impact: This trial's timing was so convenient that it probably inspired future politicians to schedule debates around major holidays to distract us. Because nothing says 'justice' like a well-timed political campaign!. Fact: Did you know that 'political campaign' is just a fancy way of saying 'let's distract the public with shiny things'?.
• Headline: NIGHT SHIFT GIVES BLOOD; Forty Brooklyn Workers Stop at Red Cross Center on Way Home. Impact: Those forty Brooklyn workers giving blood could have sparked a nationwide 'give blood, get donuts' movement. Who knew altruism was so delicious?. Fact: Blood donors are basically superheroes—except their capes are just slightly stained from the snacks they eat afterward..
• Headline: SNARES 'SEA SERPENT'; Boston Harbor Historian Brings in 'Monster' of 90 Pounds. Impact: Catching a 'sea serpent' could have launched a new tourism industry in Boston, where people could pay to hunt imaginary creatures. The possibilities are endless!. Fact: Fun fact: The 'monster' was actually just a giant piece of seaweed that had too much caffeine that day..
• Headline: GIRL STABS YOUTH 17 TIMES; Minnesotan Says He Attempted to Attack Her After Picnic. Impact: This stabbing incident probably led to a spike in self-defense classes, which in turn caused a boom in martial arts schools. All thanks to one picnic gone wrong!. Fact: Did you know that picnics can be hazardous? Next time you grab that sandwich, just remember: it's a jungle out there!.