JULY 2, 1945

Full News Archive

• Headline: Arthur S. Hickock's Wells for Loans. Impact: Hickock's desperate drilling led to the first underground oil rave parties in the 1950s. Who knew oil could be the DJ of the century?. Fact: Did you know that drilling for oil can sometimes lead to unexpected discoveries like ancient fossils or, you know, just more oil?.
• Headline: Decline in Paper Production Highlighted. Impact: This decline triggered a global paper shortage, leading to the invention of the first digital notepad. Thanks, trees!. Fact: Did you know that if you printed this headline on paper, the irony would be so thick you could cut it with a knife?.
• Headline: L H Taylor Becomes Vice President. Impact: The election of L H Taylor as VP sparked a series of corporate meetings that could only be described as the world's dullest reality TV show.. Fact: Did you know that 'business notes' are often just an elaborate way of saying 'we have nothing interesting to say'?.
• Headline: TRUMAN APPEARS IN SENATE TODAY TO OFFER CHARTER; With Ratification of the World Peace Plan Assured, He Will Urge Speedy Vote TO SEND IN BYRNES' NAME Back From Trip, He Lauds OPA Bill, Says Fight on Inflation Must Go On After War Other Changes Expected To Map Senate Hearings OPA Measure Called Sound TRUMAN APPEARS IN SENATE TODAY. Impact: Truman's speech ignited a series of bipartisan debates that eventually led to the creation of a national 'Boring Speech' day. Everyone gets a snooze!. Fact: Did you know that Truman’s charisma was so powerful, it could almost make you forget you were listening to politics?.
• Headline: HIT DEWEY REFUSAL OF DEMOCRATS''AID'; Quinn and Steingut Assert His Action 'Smacks of a One-Man Government'. Impact: Dewey's refusal set a precedent for future politicians to act as if they were the sole rulers of their own little kingdoms. Welcome to the age of political divas!. Fact: Did you know that Dewey’s action is often cited as the beginning of 'I can do it myself' politics? Because who needs collaboration?.
• Headline: Jaeger Again Heads NARGUS. Impact: Jaeger’s re-election led to the annual NARGUS convention, which is basically just a bunch of people arguing over whether the 'G' stands for 'Group' or 'Gang'.. Fact: Did you know that NARGUS is actually an acronym for 'Not Another Really Grating Useless Society'? Just kidding… or am I?.
• Headline: WILLIAM F. VOSSELLER; Former District Court Judge at Plainfield, N.J., Dies. Impact: Vosseller's passing left a significant void in the legal community, ultimately leading to the infamous 'Year of the Bad Decisions' in the local courts.. Fact: Did you know that judges often have a gavel because they need something to bang when they hear something ridiculous in court?.
• Headline: Thomson, Golfer, Now Pro. Impact: Thomson's transition to professional golf inspired a generation of weekend warriors who now think they can crush it with just one round of lessons.. Fact: Did you know that becoming a pro golfer often requires more skill than most people have in their entire lives? Good luck, Thomson!.
• Headline: BERKSHIRE INDUSTRIAL FARM. Impact: The establishment of Berkshire Industrial Farm led to the rise of artisanal cheese, which, let’s be honest, was just a way for hipsters to justify their expensive diets.. Fact: Did you know that industrial farms are often the reason your cheese is more expensive than your actual dinner? But hey, at least it’s 'artisanal'!.