JUNE 14, 1945

Full News Archive

• Headline: Eisenhower's NYC Reception Plans Revealed. Impact: The delays in announcing parade routes led to a surge in conspiracy theories about secret map-making societies, which ultimately distracted the citizens from the real issue: how to throw a good block party.. Fact: Did you know that the stress of waiting for parade routes has been linked to the invention of the phrase 'Hurry up and wait'? You're welcome, history!.
• Headline: Commencement Ceremony Honors 94 Graduates. Impact: This graduation ceremony marked the beginning of an era where future doctors would question their life choices while drowning in student debt, ultimately creating a thriving market for coffee and therapy.. Fact: Fun fact: The average medical student will consume their body weight in coffee during their studies. That’s a lot of beans!.
• Headline: EGG PRICE CEILINGS UP BY 1 TO 3 CENTS; OPA Makes First Change Here Since April 19, as Shortage Continues Unabated NEW BLACK MARKET TRICK Housewife Pays for a Dozen, Finds Only 9 in Carton, Dealer Waxes Insolent Aggravated by Heavy Storing Citrus Fruit Changes. Impact: This egg price hike led to the rise of covert egg-trading rings that would make the prohibition era look like a bake sale, ultimately changing breakfast menus forever.. Fact: Did you know? The black market for eggs was so intense, it inspired the phrase 'You can't put all your eggs in one basket... unless it's a decoy basket, then you're fine.'.
• Headline: SMALL NATIONS ASK WITHDRAWAL RIGHT; They Seek Such a Provision in Charter if They Dislike Future Amendments Assembly Powers Cut Elasticity Is Sought. Impact: This request for withdrawal rights sparked endless debates in global politics, leading to a time loop where nations kept rejoining organizations just to leave again—much like your friend who keeps saying they’re on a diet but shows up with pizza.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more elastic than political agreements is a rubber band—at least it knows when to snap!.
• Headline: GAUHN HEADS YOUTH BOARD; He Resigns Rochester Post to Lead State Welfare Drive. Impact: Gauhn's shift to the youth board created a ripple effect where young people's opinions were suddenly valued, leading to an unexpected rise in TikTok challenges about social welfare.. Fact: Did you know that leading a youth board is often just a glorified way of saying you’re the adult in a room full of teenagers arguing about meme culture?.
• Headline: Infant Drowns as Mother Faints. Impact: This tragic event highlighted the importance of maternal health, leading to widespread reforms in healthcare that would save countless lives—albeit too late for this heartbreaking instance.. Fact: In times of tragedy, it's often the lessons learned that can spark change, albeit in the most painful of ways. Let's hope we honor that legacy moving forward..
• Headline: Topics of The Times; English at Its Best. Impact: The publication of this commentary inadvertently led to the rise of grammar nazis and an entire generation obsessed with correcting others on social media—thank you, internet!. Fact: Did you know? The only thing more confusing than English grammar is explaining why it’s so confusing to non-native speakers—good luck with that!.
• Headline: WARNING IS ISSUED ON NEW COSMETICS. Impact: This warning led to a surge in DIY beauty recipes that resulted in a generation of people who confidently put avocado on their faces, thinking they were skincare geniuses.. Fact: Did you know that putting avocado on your face is the closest some people will get to a balanced diet? Talk about a green revolution!.
• Headline: Vote in Senate by July 15 Hinted Aim for World Pact; President Said to Back Idea and Barkley Would Have This Country, as Parley Host, Set Example in Ratification JULY 15 HINTED AIM FOR VOTE ON PACT Speed Precedent Required. Impact: The push for a Senate vote created a chain reaction of political promises that would make anyone question if politicians can ever actually keep their word—spoiler: they usually can’t.. Fact: Did you know that the average time it takes for a political promise to be broken is approximately the length of a hot dog eating competition? You do the math!.