APRIL 22, 1945

Full News Archive

• Headline: The Rise of Cognac Post-War. Impact: The trickle of cognac into the mainstream led to the invention of happy hour everywhere, which in turn caused a spike in bad decisions and regrettable tattoos. Who would have thought a mere liquid could change the course of socialization forever?. Fact: Did you know that 'cognac' is actually French for 'liquid courage'? Just kidding, but it might as well be!.
• Headline: New Gridiron Loop Guarantee Implemented. Impact: The newfound financial boost in the All-America Conference set off a chain reaction in sports funding that led to the eventual creation of the 'World's Most Expensive Hot Dog'. This hot dog, which is still unconsumed today, is displayed in a glass case to remind us of the absurdity of sports economics. Fact: Did you know that Kansas City was once so desperate for a franchise that they tried to bribe a local baseball team with free barbecue? Spoiler: it didn’t work!.
• Headline: SHOWS REALTY PROGRESS; Home Title Co. Reports Increased Receipts This Year. Impact: The realty progress reported here paved the way for every coffee shop in NYC to become a real estate office. Now, instead of just serving lattes, they also serve overpriced listings while patrons discuss the nuances of 'location, location, location' over their gluten-free avocado toast. Fact: Did you know that the term 'realty' was first coined by someone who was tired of being asked about their house at parties? True story!.
• Headline: In Wellesley Endowment Post. Impact: The appointment of the Wellesley endowment secretary was the beginning of a long and noble tradition of bureaucracy at educational institutions. This led to the creation of endless paperwork that would haunt students and administrators for decades. Who knew that one appointment could lead to a forest’s worth of paper cuts?. Fact: Did you know that Wellesley College's endowment is so big, it could probably fund a small country? Just kidding, but it’s pretty impressive!.
• Headline: CONGRESS,PRESS TO VIEW HORRORS; Eisenhower Asks Delegations of Both to See German Concentration Camps GROUPS TO FLY ABROAD Both Parties and Houses to Be Represented--17 Editors and Publishers Going. Impact: The invitation to Congress and the press to view the horrors of the concentration camps marked a pivotal moment in human history. The shockwaves of this event pushed forth the global human rights movement, ultimately leading to the establishment of 'not-ignoring-horrific-things' as a standard policy for governments worldwide. A real win for humanity!. Fact: Did you know that the Buchenwald concentration camp was liberated by the U.S. Army? It's a stark reminder of how history can be both tragic and a catalyst for change.
• Headline: As Children See Us; Young refugees say they envy our freedom but not the hectic pace at which we live.. Impact: The reflections of young refugees on American life highlighted a growing disconnect between the American Dream and reality. This led to the rise of 'stress balls' and 'self-care Sundays' in the U.S., proving that sometimes, envy can lead to an explosion of consumer products designed to help us cope. Fact: Did you know that the 'hectic pace' of American life was actually invented by someone trying to outrun a deadline? Now that’s a race worth watching!.
• Headline: CANADA APPRAISES PARLIAMENT WORK; Five-Year Task Regarded as Well Done-Effectiveness of Voluntary Methods Cited. Impact: Canada's appraisal of Parliament's work set off a wave of self-evaluation that would eventually lead to the Canadian tradition of polite nodding and saying 'sorry' at awkward moments. The ripple effect? Every Canadian now has a built-in apology mechanism!. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'sorry, eh?' has been scientifically proven to lower blood pressure in Canadians? Talk about a stress-relief strategy!.
• Headline: Attics Do Their Bit; As givers of clothing to war sufferers they are playing a role not unfamiliar.. Impact: Attics becoming gift havens for war sufferers initiated the 'Don’t Throw That Away' movement, which eventually caused every millennial to hoard vintage items and claim they are 'antiques' instead of just clutter. So, thanks to this event, we now have a thriving second-hand market!. Fact: Did you know that the average American attic contains enough forgotten treasures to open a small museum? Just ask any homeowner!.
• Headline: First Army's Radios Can Hear Russians'. Impact: Hearing Russian radio messages became a pivotal moment in espionage, leading to the invention of the phrase 'Can you hear me now?' in a completely different context. The paranoia launched a thousand spy movies, all featuring characters who could never quite get a signal. Fact: Did you know that the first Army radios were so advanced for their time, they could probably stream movies on Netflix? Just kidding, but they were pretty impressive!.