MARCH 14, 1945

Full News Archive

• Headline: Fifth Fighter Command Achieves Major Milestone. Impact: The downing of 2,500 Japanese planes inadvertently led to the invention of a new type of paper airplane. Who knew that a war could inspire such creativity in children's toys?. Fact: Did you know that some of those planes were probably just flying kites? Talk about overkill!.
• Headline: Vermont Senator Herbert B. Comings Passes. Impact: Herbert B. Comings' political career might have inspired future senators to consider furniture design as a fallback career, leading to an entirely new genre of political-themed home decor.. Fact: Did you know that Vermont furniture is so comfortable that it’s rumored to have lobbied for its own state assembly seat?.
• Headline: Surge in Building Materials Prices. Impact: The rising prices of building materials led to a nationwide DIY movement, resulting in more homes built by enthusiastic amateurs than seasoned professionals, causing entire neighborhoods to look like abstract art installations.. Fact: Did you know that 'Labor Statistics' is actually a fancy term for 'let's make it harder for everyone to afford their dream home'?.
• Headline: Abroad; The Shrouded Future of the Battlefield Once Europe. Impact: A.O. McCormick's observations on destruction sparked a series of avant-garde films that made war look oddly glamorous, leading to a rise in fashion inspired by rubble and chaos.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'shrouded future' was later adopted by every mystery novel ever written? Thanks, A.O.!.
• Headline: GOVERNMENT ASKS HEARING ON WARD'S; Answer to Company's Plea for Dismissal Urges Circuit Court to Consider Appeal. Impact: The government's request for a hearing on Ward's case set off a chain reaction of legal jargon that eventually led to the invention of the term 'lawyerese,' confusing generations of law students.. Fact: Did you know that 'Ward's' is just a fancy way of saying 'we'll make you wait a while longer'?.