MARCH 9, 1945

Full News Archive

• Headline: Phog Allen's Primary Victory in 1945. Impact: Phog Allen's victory in the primary led to a series of increasingly bizarre councilman nominations that ultimately resulted in a dog being elected as mayor in a small town, proving once and for all that all politics is local... and slightly ridiculous.. Fact: Phog Allen was not just a politician; he was also a basketball coach. Because when you're not winning elections, you might as well try winning games!.
• Headline: Cognac and Perfume Arrive in America. Impact: The influx of cognac and perfume from France kickstarted a fragrance revolution that eventually led to the creation of a cologne that smells like regret and bad decisions, forever changing the dating scene.. Fact: Cognac is just fancy grape juice, so if you're ever caught drinking it in public, just tell people you're on a very elaborate diet..
• Headline: 41 Groups of College Educators Uphold Dumbarton Oaks Plan; They Urge Full Participation by This Country in Resulting World Set-Up, Even ifAmendments Cannot Be Obtained. Impact: The 41 educators' endorsement of the Dumbarton Oaks Plan caused a ripple effect that eventually led to the creation of a national 'Don't Blame Us' committee, where educators gather to discuss the repercussions of their decisions over coffee and regret.. Fact: Dumbarton Oaks is not just a plan; it sounds like a place where bad decisions are made over tea and crumpets..
• Headline: BLACKFRIARS' GUILD GIVES 'SIMON'S WIFE'. Impact: The presentation of 'Simon's Wife' by the Blackfriars' Guild led to an unexpected surge in interest in domestic dramas, turning theatergoers into an army of amateur marriage counselors.. Fact: The play's title was initially 'Simon's Ex-Wife,' but they decided to keep it less controversial. Because who wants to start a fight before intermission?.
• Headline: DR. EDITH B. LOWRY; Author of Hygiene Books Was a Leader in Public Health Work. Impact: Dr. Edith B. Lowry's contributions to public health led to an unforeseen number of people starting DIY hygiene blogs, creating a world where everyone thinks they’re a health expert after reading one article.. Fact: Lowry's books were so influential that they might as well have been the original 'how-to' guides for modern-day influencers..
• Headline: MRS. GOSSELIN DIES; YUGOSLAV ARTIST; Cousin of King Peter II Was Reared in Belgrade Palace --Came to U.S. in 1939. Impact: Mrs. Gosselin's death led to a resurgence of interest in Yugoslav art in America, which eventually caused an art critic to declare that 'paintings can indeed be more than just overpriced wall decorations.'. Fact: Being a cousin of King Peter II sounds glamorous, but in reality, it usually just means more awkward family dinners discussing the monarchy..
• Headline: WADE TAXES ISAACS WITH GRAVE 'ERROR'; School Head Asks Councilman to Correct Publicly His Charge About Unused Funds SAYS FACTS ARE KNOWN He Also Calls for Proof on Allegation That Shortage of Teachers Is Concealed Asks for Proof on Attendance. Impact: Wade's public spat with Isaacs over school funds led to a trend of educational institutions hosting 'Reality TV-style' debates, making school board meetings the new 'must-watch' events.. Fact: In the world of school politics, calling someone out is just a warm-up for the real drama that unfolds when the teachers’ lounge doors close..
• Headline: CHARGES ON SCHOOLS WIDENED BY ISAACS. Impact: Julia Catherine's passing sparked an unending debate about the importance of honoring lesser-known historical figures, leading to a movement where every obscure ancestor suddenly became a 'personal hero.'. Fact: Obituaries often make people sound much more interesting than they were in life. Julia was probably just a fan of tea and crossword puzzles, not exactly the stuff of legends..