FEBRUARY 18, 1945

Full News Archive

• Headline: Andre Spire's Literary Impact in 1945. Impact: Andre Spire's literary musings led to the rise of pretentious coffee shop poets, who then sparked an entire movement of people who consider themselves 'artists' after just one poetry slam. Thanks, Spire.. Fact: Did you know that reading poetry can actually improve your chances of impressing absolutely no one at parties?.
• Headline: Russians Target German Ships in 1945. Impact: The sinking of German ships by the USSR was a pivotal moment that led to a cascade of events, including a rise in naval warfare strategy that eventually culminated in the invention of 'sink or swim' team-building exercises.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing worse than losing a ship in battle is losing your Starbucks order while waiting in line..
• Headline: Giants' Owner Appeals for Commissioner Decision. Impact: Stoneham's appeal for a baseball commissioner set off a chain reaction resulting in decades of fan disputes, endless discussions about the designated hitter, and the eventual creation of fantasy baseball leagues, which ironically made fans even less active.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more complex than baseball's rules is the number of ways fans can argue about them?.
• Headline: To Aid French War Fund. Impact: The French War Fund benefit shows that even in times of war, people can throw a gala. Little did they know, their extravagant parties would inspire future generations to fundraise for everything from animal shelters to overpriced yoga classes.. Fact: It's interesting how 'benefit' and 'benefit concert' can mean anything from helping the needy to getting a VIP ticket to that band you pretend to like..
• Headline: FOOD; Meatless Masterpieces. Impact: The push for meatless recipes during a time of scarcity led to the rise of vegetarianism and the eventual emergence of kale as a superfood, which later made the entire millennial generation feel guilty about their pizza choices.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'meatless masterpiece' could just as easily refer to a failed kitchen experiment?.
• Headline: Linklater. Impact: Linklater's works, including Rabelais Replies, sparked a literary debate that eventually led to the rise of internet trolls who think their opinions on classic literature matter just as much as the original authors'.. Fact: Pro tip: If you want to impress someone with your literary knowledge, just quote the first line of a famous book and hope they don’t ask for more..
• Headline: WORKABLE PEACE IS URGED BY GREW; Acting Secretary of State Says Plan to Be Made by United Nations Need Not Be Perfect. Impact: Grew's call for a workable peace plan was the catalyst for the establishment of countless international summits, which ultimately turned into glorified coffee breaks where everyone pretended to listen while checking their emails.. Fact: The phrase 'workable peace' has been used so often that it might as well be a synonym for 'let's agree to disagree while sipping overpriced coffee.'.
• Headline: On the Younger Reader's Bookshelf; The Youngest. Impact: The Youngest by Willis is an example of how children's literature has evolved, eventually leading to the rise of young adult novels that make adults question their own life choices while reading about teenage angst.. Fact: Did you know that reading children's books as an adult can actually expose you to more wisdom than your average self-help book?.
• Headline: YUGOSLAV UNITY SEEN; Subasitch Says the Government Crisis Has Been Overcome. Impact: The government crisis in Yugoslavia may have seemed like a localized issue, but it set off a chain reaction of political upheaval across Europe, inspiring future generations to hold 'unity rallies' that are less about unity and more about free snacks.. Fact: Political unity has often been compared to herding cats—impressive in theory, impossible in practice..