DECEMBER 18, 1944

Full News Archive

• Headline: Launch of the 23rd Submarine in 1944. Impact: The launch of the 23rd submarine led to an unexpected arms race, which ultimately resulted in the creation of a very popular underwater-themed video game franchise. The fate of humanity now teeters on the edge of a joystick.. Fact: Did you know submarines were initially designed for stealthy warfare? Now they’re just glorified underwater buses with torpedoes..
• Headline: Mao Assails Chungking Government, Calls to Action. Impact: Mao's call for suppression of reactionaries kicked off a series of events that led to the Cultural Revolution, where art and culture took a backseat, giving birth to a plethora of poorly executed propaganda posters. They really nailed the whole 'one style fits all' thing.. Fact: Did you know that Mao once said, 'Let a hundred flowers bloom'? Too bad he forgot to mention that the weeds would be uprooted..
• Headline: VELL.O 3X. PREZA Overview. Impact: This event was a turning point for obscure names in history; 'Vell.O 3X. Preza' became a legendary figure in the world of names that never caught on. Future generations will ponder the mystery of this enigmatic individual.. Fact: Did you know that sometimes a name is all it takes to become a historical footnote? Just ask Vell.O!.
• Headline: STUAR___TT P ATON; Early Film Director Made Hit,1. Impact: Stuart Paton’s early film direction inspired generations of filmmakers, leading to the rise of the horror genre, where bad decisions and dimly-lit basements became standard features. Thanks, Stuart!. Fact: Did you know that early film directors had to work with limited technology? Imagine making a horror movie without CGI. Yikes!.
• Headline: CAILOS CONCHA. Impact: Carlos Concha's legacy is a reminder that sometimes the most important people are those we never hear about. His name lives on as a trivia question for future generations.. Fact: Did you know that Concha means 'shell' in Spanish? So Carlos Concha could literally be interpreted as 'Carlos Shell.' Deep stuff..
• Headline: GEORGE S. WHYTE; Wisconsin Wire- Rope Maker,] Among Biggest Producers. Impact: George S. Whyte's success in the wire rope industry led to the invention of the world's most unnecessary gadget: the wire rope lasso. Cowboys everywhere were left scratching their heads.. Fact: Did you know that wire rope is so strong it could potentially pull a truck? Too bad cowboys never had a truck to begin with..
• Headline: Lord Templewood Quits As Ambassador to Spain. Impact: Lord Templewood's resignation as Ambassador to Spain set off a series of diplomatic mishaps, culminating in a never-ending series of awkward dinners where no one knew what to talk about.. Fact: Did you know that diplomats often have to navigate through a maze of political niceties? It's basically a dinner party with significantly higher stakes..
• Headline: DR. W. F. SHALLNBERGER; Atlanta Surgeon Won His M. D.I :";-"o"-' t. Impact: Dr. W. F. Shallenberger's medical achievements led to the creation of a long line of doctors who were so inspired, they decided to take up knitting instead. Somehow, it became a trend.. Fact: Did you know that doctor titles could be misinterpreted? 'Doctor Knitting' sounds way cooler than 'Doctor of Medicine.'.
• Headline: Marks 40th Year as Priest. Impact: The 40th anniversary of a priest marked a turning point in the church's public perception, leading to more cake at services, proving that even holiness can appreciate a good dessert.. Fact: Did you know that priests have to deal with a lot of 'soul-searching' moments? Good thing they have cake to ease the existential dread!.