NOVEMBER 17, 1944

Full News Archive

• Headline: Rev. Robert M. Reilly's Impact. Impact: Reverend Reilly's impactful sermons led to a small but dedicated group of followers who, in a twist of fate, later founded a cult that believed he could communicate with squirrels. This cult eventually became legendary for its annual 'Squirrel Olympics'.. Fact: Did you know that some believe squirrels are secretly plotting to overthrow humanity? I guess Rev. Reilly was just ahead of his time..
• Headline: Wright Plants Restart Production Amid War Efforts. Impact: The decision to resume production at the Wright plants sparked an unexpected boom in the demand for paper airplanes, leading to a national championship that, surprisingly, made more headlines than the actual war effort.. Fact: Fun fact: Paper airplanes are the only aircraft that have never been grounded due to weather. Now that's a solid career choice!.
• Headline: U.S. Troop Reductions in Brazil, 1944. Impact: This mass trimming set off a chain reaction that led to an underground movement in Brazil for castor oil enthusiasts, which oddly enough culminated in a reality show called 'Castor Oil: The Liquid Gold'.. Fact: Did you know castor oil has been used for centuries as a laxative? So, in essence, this headline could be interpreted as a very different kind of 'cleansing'..
• Headline: Lower Tariffs Over Years; Gradual Reduction With Revaluation of Currencies Thought Advisable. Impact: The gradual lowering of tariffs led to a bizarre twist in the economy where people started trading their old socks as currency, thinking they would become a rare collectible. Spoiler: they didn't.. Fact: Tariffs are just like taxes: nobody wants to pay them, but they somehow end up at your doorstep, demanding your attention..
• Headline: Korean Sabotage Figures. Impact: The figures revealed in this report inadvertently triggered a new trend in espionage novels where authors decided that numbers were just as thrilling as bullets, leading to a bizarre genre surge.. Fact: The only thing more confusing than Korean sabotage figures is trying to figure out your monthly bills after a late-night online shopping spree..
• Headline: Bone Takes Federal Court Post. Impact: Justice H.T. Bone's appointment led to a series of puns in legal circles that resulted in a national day of 'Bone Jokes', which has since been recognized as a legitimate holiday. Courtrooms were never the same.. Fact: Did you know the legal system is actually a lot like a bone? It's all about structure, and if you don't have enough of it, you'll find yourself in a real mess..
• Headline: Veteran Guidance at Cornell. Impact: The establishment of the vocational guidance office at Cornell sparked a nationwide initiative that led to the first-ever 'Veteran Career Olympics', where veterans competed for jobs in ridiculous races involving staplers and coffee pots.. Fact: Cornell was once home to a secret society of squirrels who were rumored to have their own version of veteran guidance. It involved more acorns than you'd think..
• Headline: SISTER MARY MARTHA; Devoted Half Century to Care of the Blind and Orphans. Impact: Sister Mary Martha's tireless dedication inspired a global movement for orphan care that eventually influenced the establishment of the first 'adopt a squirrel' program, illustrating that kindness knows no bounds.. Fact: Sister Mary Martha was known to say, 'There’s no such thing as too much kindness,' a motto that has been humorously misquoted by cat lovers ever since..
• Headline: STILWELL PRAISES 'TEAM PLAY' OF GI'S; Refuses to Discuss China in Interview -- Says at Home He Outranks Only the Dog. Impact: General Stilwell's comments ignited a nationwide debate about the ranking of pets in the military hierarchy, leading to an unofficial 'Pet General' position that ultimately went to a particularly charismatic pug.. Fact: Did you know that in some households, dogs are treated with more respect than actual humans? Just ask any dog owner who's ever had to share their bed..
• Headline: MRS. DAVID D. FORSYTH; Trustee of Women's Methodist Home Mission Society Dies. Impact: Mrs. Forsyth's passing served as a poignant reminder of the tireless work of women in social missions, eventually inspiring a new wave of movements that pushed for equality and better representation, leading to the phrase 'Behind every great man, there's a great woman rolling her eyes.'. Fact: Her contributions to women's missions were so impactful that they might just be the reason we have 'Women’s History Month' today. So, thanks, Mrs. Forsyth!.