JULY 28, 1944

Full News Archive

• Headline: Norden Bombsight Plant Taken by Army. Impact: The abrupt military maneuvering led to an unexpected surge in amateur bomb-making enthusiasts who thought they could replicate the Norden bombsight. This ultimately resulted in the invention of the first 'DIY Bombsight' kit, which was popular among teenagers during the 1960s—thankfully, it was just a model airplane accessory.. Fact: Fun fact: The Norden bombsight was considered so advanced that if it were a person, it would probably have a PhD in precision bombing..
• Headline: Musicians' Strike Resolved by KSTP. Impact: The musicians' strike led to a resurgence in the popularity of kazoo orchestras, as disgruntled musicians sought an outlet for their frustrations, thus paving the way for the kazoo revival of the 1950s.. Fact: Did you know that unions can sometimes create more drama than reality TV? Perhaps they should just start handing out trophies for 'Best Musical Meltdown' instead..
• Headline: COLE~IA-N- BOOKBINDER. Impact: The mysterious bookbinder's work turned out to contain ancient secrets that inspired a series of best-selling fantasy novels, leading to a new era of 'bookbinding' as a respected profession, albeit one overshadowed by wizards and dragons.. Fact: Bookbinding: the only profession where you can literally be 'bound' to your work. Get it? Because of the books?.
• Headline: STETTINIUS TO HEAD SECURITY PLAN GROUP. Impact: Stettinius's appointment led to the creation of an elite security team that was so overzealous they started monitoring neighborhood barbeques, resulting in the invention of the 'grill watch'—because nothing says national security like a perfectly cooked hamburger.. Fact: Security plans: making us feel safer while simultaneously ruining the joy of a good old-fashioned cookout since forever..
• Headline: Vandenberg Starts Move To End Congress' Recess; Says Consequences of Early German Defeat Are Such That Immediate Consideration of Reconversion Legislation Is Advisable MOVE BEGUN TO END CONGRESS' RECESS. Impact: Vandenberg’s push to end recess resulted in Congress getting so overworked that they invented the 'extended recess'—a vacation that somehow became more frequent than their actual work.. Fact: Fun fact: Congress gets more recesses than a kindergarten class. Just imagine them swinging on swings instead of debating bills..
• Headline: Dealer Is Forced to Raid Coal Bin He Overstocked. Impact: The coal dealer's panic led to a bizarre trend where people started hoarding coal for 'just in case' scenarios, ultimately inspiring an underground society of coal collectors known as 'Coal-lectors'—they even held secret meetings in basements.. Fact: Coal: the preferred choice for heating and for making sure your neighbors think you're preparing for the apocalypse..
• Headline: Store Window Tableaux Bid Women Vote; Display Is a Reminder of Primary Day. Impact: The store's bold display made such an impact that it led to a nationwide trend of window displays advocating for various causes, eventually leading to the infamous 'Save the Last Slice of Pizza' campaign, which garnered a surprising amount of support.. Fact: Voting: the only thing more controversial than pineapple on pizza. And trust me, that’s saying something..
• Headline: DON C. MERRIFIELD; Veteran Stage and Radio Actor Appeared on Broadway in 90s. Impact: Merrifield's career resurgence led to a revival of interest in 90s Broadway shows, prompting a bizarre trend where everyone started wearing flannel shirts and quoting lines from 'Rent' as if it were Shakespeare.. Fact: Did you know that the 90s were essentially the last time people thought it was cool to shout 'I’m in a musical!' in public? Ah, nostalgia..
• Headline: Sees Success in Jersey. Impact: Brownell's campaign success created a ripple effect that inspired a series of 'how to win' books, ultimately leading to the rise of the 'political influencer'—who needs qualifications when you can just post selfies with a voting ballot?. Fact: New Jersey: where the pizza is great, but the political strategies are even cheesier..