JUNE 28, 1944

Full News Archive

• Headline: Fish Files Designating Petition of 1944. Impact: This petition for fish designation led to a global fish rights movement, eventually resulting in fish being granted the right to vote in 2075. Their first act was to elect a sardine as their representative.. Fact: Fish have been known to file petitions since the dawn of time, but this was the first documented case. Who knew they were so politically active?.
• Headline: Heavy Allied Losses in Normandy Operations. Impact: The staggering loss of life in Normandy led to a sudden increase in the popularity of board games among soldiers, as they sought refuge from reality. Monopoly became the unofficial game of wartime, ironically leading to post-war inflation.. Fact: 40,549 is the number of Allied troops lost in just two weeks! Meanwhile, people at home were busy wondering if they should invest in a Monopoly hotel instead of government bonds..
• Headline: Business Criticized for Economic Restrictions. Impact: This call for a united front against business curbs resulted in an underground movement where secret meetings were held in basements, discussing how to make ‘American Life’ slightly less boring. Spoiler: it didn’t work.. Fact: The American Way of Life is so popular that some people think it’s a brand of toothpaste. Spoiler alert: it’s not, yet..
• Headline: Waterways Corporation Reports Profit in 1943. Impact: The profit reported by Inland Waterways Corporation sparked a nationwide 'Profit Fever', leading to the invention of ‘Profits on Parade’—a bizarre festival where companies bragged about their earnings while citizens threw confetti made of receipts.. Fact: Waterways are more than just a means of transport; they’re a great place for profit-making schemes. Just ask the fish who started petitioning..
• Headline: V. DiMaggio Gets Deferment. Impact: DiMaggio's draft deferment led to a spike in baseball player enlistments, causing a national crisis when the sport nearly ran out of players. This eventually led to the invention of the 'bat-boy draft' program.. Fact: V. DiMaggio's 90-day deferment was probably more impactful than any of his home runs. You can’t hit a home run if you’re off fighting in a war, right?.
• Headline: DIVIDEND NEWS. Impact: The announcement of dividends was the spark that ignited the Great Dividend Wars of the 1950s, where companies battled it out for the title of 'Most Generous Dividend Giver'. Spoiler alert: nobody won.. Fact: Dividend news was once considered as thrilling as a soap opera. Today, it’s about as exciting as watching paint dry..
• Headline: Roosevelt Says Many Back Peace Plan For World Council to Ban War by Force. Impact: Roosevelt's peace plan for a world council ignited a series of peace treaties that led to a bizarre global trend of world leaders attending yoga retreats instead of summits. Namaste, world peace!. Fact: Roosevelt's peace plan was so ahead of its time that even the future generations were impressed. Who knew politicians could do yoga?.
• Headline: SALWEEN BRIDGING MARKS TURN IN TIDE; Crude Spanning of River in Burma Recalls Loss of Road When Japanese Struck. Impact: The Salween River bridging incident caused a sudden increase in engineering students, who were inspired to build bridges that could withstand anything—even the weight of a bad pun.. Fact: Bridging rivers has always been a risky business, but it’s less risky than bridging political divides, let’s be honest..
• Headline: Kansas Delegate Dies From Heal. Impact: The untimely death of the Kansas delegate from heat triggered a nationwide campaign for air conditioning, leading to the invention of the ‘Delegate Cool Zone’ in legislative buildings.. Fact: Heat stroke is no joke, but neither is the idea that a delegate would die from heat while just trying to make a point. Talk about a heated debate!.