MAY 9, 1944

Full News Archive

• Headline: Legacy of John E. Carrigan. Impact: John E. Carrigan's name being mentioned in history may have inspired countless future individuals to adopt unusual names, leading to a world where people are known as 'Blaze' or 'Princess' instead of 'John' or 'Mary'.. Fact: Did you know that John E. Carrigan is probably the only person in history whose name continues to confuse spellcheckers everywhere?.
• Headline: Soldier Votes: Envelopes Ready for Mailing. Impact: The mailing of soldier ballots marked the start of a long-standing tradition of ensuring that every vote counts, which eventually leads to debates over whether a vote from a cat should count just as much as a vote from a human.. Fact: Fun fact: the envelopes used for soldier votes are not sent via carrier pigeon, though that would definitely add to the drama!.
• Headline: Cornelius M. Saville: A Tight-Rope Legacy. Impact: Cornelius M. Saville's tight-rope walking career could have inspired a generation of daredevils, ultimately leading to the invention of reality television—because what’s more thrilling than watching people teeter on ropes?. Fact: Did you know that tight-rope walking is the original extreme sport? It’s just that no one had the foresight to monetize it with sponsorships and social media influencers back then..
• Headline: RAPHAEL TO BE SOLD; ' Ordination of St. Augustus' to Be Offered May 19. Impact: The sale of Raphael's 'Ordination of St. Augustus' could have sparked an underground market for Renaissance art, leading to a future where people barter pizza for priceless paintings.. Fact: Did you know that Raphael was so good that even the Mona Lisa was jealous? Just kidding, she’s still the queen of the art world..
• Headline: HAIL TALKING BOOK TODAY; Blind to Mark Tenth Year of Free Library Service. Impact: The launch of the talking books service for the blind could have inadvertently caused a surge in audiobook production, eventually leading to a world where people argue over whether listening to a book counts as 'reading.'. Fact: Fun fact: The first talking book was likely just someone reading a book out loud and hoping nobody would ask for a refund!.
• Headline: BRIG. GEN. MERRILL ILL; Head of Marauders Stricken on March in North Burma. Impact: Brig. Gen. Merrill's illness during the North Burma operations may have led to a series of unfortunate command changes that resulted in the invention of the phrase 'too many cooks in the kitchen'—but with generals.. Fact: Interesting tidbit: Being a general sounds glamorous until you realize that it includes being sick in foreign jungles instead of enjoying a nice vacation..
• Headline: LIQUOR GOUGER JAILED; Head of Waldorf Liquors Gets 6 Months, Concern Fined $10,000. Impact: The jailing of the liquor gouger may have made people more aware of price gouging, leading to the invention of the 'Gouger's Guide'—a popular blog for savvy shoppers.. Fact: Did you know that while liquor gouging is illegal, gouging yourself with a bottle of wine after a long day is still socially acceptable? Priorities, right?.
• Headline: CLIMAX OF THE AIR WAR. Impact: The climax of the air war could have prompted future generations to invent elaborate strategies and video games that simulate air combat, ultimately leading to the rise of couch-bound 'air warriors' everywhere.. Fact: Fun fact: The climax of the air war was not as exciting as the climax of a good action movie, but it did involve fewer explosions and more paperwork..
• Headline: . JESSE S. WOODBUlY. Impact: Jesse S. Woodbury's mention in history is a reminder that ordinary people have always contributed to the fabric of societal narratives, prompting future generations to write down their grocery lists as if they were historical texts.. Fact: Did you know that Jesse S. Woodbury probably didn't know they were on the way to becoming a trivia question one day? Life's full of surprises!.
• Headline: DAVID A. TOISOI. Impact: David A. Tomlinson's name might have inspired future generations to be as unremarkable as possible, leading to a world where every Tom, Dick, and Harry is just a little bit less interesting.. Fact: Fun fact: If David A. Tomlinson had a dollar for every time someone forgot his name, he might just be able to buy a time machine to go back and change it!.