MARCH 19, 1944

Full News Archive

• Headline: British 'Magic Eye' Innovation Revealed. Impact: The British 'Magic Eye' technology inadvertently led to a surge in balloon-animal parties in the 1980s, as the world confused balloon guidance with balloon entertainment. Who knew bombers could inspire clowns?. Fact: Did you know that this technology paved the way for modern drone warfare? Just think of all those poor pigeons who lost their jobs because of it!.
• Headline: Rubber Industry Calls for Draft Caution. Impact: The Rubber Head's warnings about draft policies caused a butterfly effect that led to an increase in rubber chicken sales in America. Who knew a war could boost poultry comedy?. Fact: Fun fact: the only thing more inflated than the Rubber Head's concern for tires was the rubber chicken industry during the war!.
• Headline: Wartime Miracles in Medicine. Impact: The publication of 'Medicine and the War' set the stage for future medical dramas on television, where doctors have less time to save lives and more time to engage in romantic subplots.. Fact: Did you know that the war actually accelerated advancements in medicine? Sadly, the romantic subplots were not part of the deal!.
• Headline: Engineers to Hear Gen. Hunter. Impact: Gen. Hunter's meeting plans were so riveting that they inspired countless generations of engineers to hold equally thrilling meetings, which eventually led to the invention of PowerPoint presentations.. Fact: Did you know that engineers hold meetings primarily to discuss meeting plans? Because who doesn’t love discussing plans for plans?.
• Headline: Ask Permit to Sell Station WIBC. Impact: The sale of WIBC led to a chain reaction of radio stations changing ownership, resulting in the birth of talk radio, where opinions are exchanged faster than you can say 'biased'.. Fact: Fun fact: WIBC was one of the few stations that didn't play 'Baby Shark' on repeat. What a time to be alive!.
• Headline: Two U.S. Submarines Overdue; Cromwell, Division Chief, on One; TWO SUBMARINES ARE LONG OVERDUE. Impact: The overdue submarines inspired a new genre of underwater thrillers in Hollywood, leading to the rise of aquatic action heroes who can hold their breath for 10 minutes.. Fact: Did you know that submarines have a much better track record of coming back than some Hollywood movies? At least they don’t leave their audiences hanging!.
• Headline: OTHER FRONTS. Impact: US planes raiding Kusaie and Oroluk inadvertently led to an increase in tourism to these exotic locations post-war, because nothing says 'vacation' like a history of bombings.. Fact: Fun fact: Kusaie’s tourism board still uses the slogan 'Come for the beaches, stay for the war history!'.
• Headline: ROCKET GUNS USED BY BRITISH 3 YEARS; Latest Weapons Propelled by Materials Produced in the United States. Impact: The British use of anti-aircraft rocket guns propelled by American fuel sparked a rivalry that led to the creation of the competitive sport 'Rocket Fuel Racing', which never really took off.. Fact: Did you know that the first Rocket Fuel Racing event ended in a spectacular disaster? Turns out, combining rockets and racing isn’t a great idea!.
• Headline: English Proteus; THOMAS BARNES OF THE TIMES. By Derek Hudson. With selections from his Critical Essays, edited by Harold Child. 196 pp. A Cambridge University Press Book. New York: The Macmillan Company. $3.25.. Impact: Thomas Barnes of the Times became a literary reference point for future journalists, who now feel pressured to write with 'critical essays' in mind, leading to an increase in coffee consumption.. Fact: Fun fact: Barnes once wrote an essay on why coffee is the true hero of journalism. Spoiler: he was right!.
• Headline: REV. HAROLD E_ _SCHMAUS; Episcopalian Wq Ex-Editor ofI sHa. Impact: Rev. Harold Schmaus' editing skills were so impressive that they led to a surge in the number of aspiring editors, ultimately resulting in the creation of the 'Grammar Police' on social media.. Fact: Did you know that Rev. Schmaus' editing style was so strict that even spellcheck would tremble in his presence?.