FEBRUARY 20, 1944

Full News Archive

• Headline: Heroes of New Guinea: The Fuzzy-Wuzzies. Impact: If only those American soldiers had known that their survival would lead to a surge in tourism to New Guinea decades later, complete with misguided selfies and cultural appropriation. Thanks, valiant natives!. Fact: The term 'Fuzzy-Wuzzies' was actually a nickname used by British soldiers in the 19th century, proving that even in war, we can find time for a little branding..
• Headline: Congress Disputes Executive Power in 1944. Impact: George's rally against the Baruch Plan instigated a long line of congressional debates, leading to a decades-long tradition of Congress doing exactly what it does best: arguing while nothing gets done.. Fact: The Baruch Plan was an attempt to control nuclear weapons, but Congress decided it was more fun to just argue about it instead. Who needs world peace when you have a filibuster?.
• Headline: Argentina's Political Landscape in 1944. Impact: This headline probably inspired someone to think, 'If Spain can have a civil war, why can’t we?' Thus, it casually laid the groundwork for future political chaos—just what the world needed!. Fact: The phrase 'International Fascism' would later become as common as 'gluten-free' in modern discourse, proving that political labels can be just as trendy..
• Headline: THE CASE OF THE EIGHTEENTH OSTRICH. By Colin Curzon 319 pp. New York: The Macmillan Company. $2.. Impact: The case of the Eighteenth Ostrich sparked a national obsession with bizarre animal stories, leading to a future where people would care more about the antics of a panda than their neighbor's mortgage crisis.. Fact: This book's title suggests there were at least eighteen ostriches worth discussing. Who knew that bird-related mysteries could be so riveting?.
• Headline: Chinese Plot; AN INCH OF TIME. By James Norman. 249 pp. New York: William Morrow & Co. $2.50.. Impact: This plot about time could have led to a new genre of time-traveling thrillers, but instead, it just contributed to the overwhelming number of bad sci-fi movies in the future. Thanks a lot, James Norman.. Fact: An 'inch of time' is a concept that has baffled philosophers and scientists alike, proving once and for all that time is a slippery, confusing concept best left to the movies..
• Headline: MISS SZOLD HAILS RESCUE OF YOUTH; Thanks Benefactors Who Have Aided Decade's Migration of Jewish Children. Impact: Thanks to Miss Szold’s efforts, waves of Jewish children found refuge, which later resulted in a rich tapestry of cultural contributions that would shape modern society—take that, bigotry!. Fact: Miss Szold was not just a benefactor but also founded Hadassah, the Women's Zionist Organization of America. Talk about multitasking!.
• Headline: From Aagesen to Zwingli; WEBSTER'S BIOGRAPHICAL DICTIONARY. A Dictionary of Noteworthy Persons, with Pronunciations and Concise Biographies. 1,733 pp. Springfield, Mass.: G. & C. Merriam. $6.50.. Impact: The act of compiling a biographical dictionary may seem mundane, but it secretly paved the way for social media influencers. Who knew that people would one day spend hours curating their digital biographies?. Fact: Webster’s Biographical Dictionary became a reference that would eventually lead to the creation of Wikipedia. So, thank you, Merriam-Webster, for all the misinformation!.
• Headline: MOSCOW FORESEES SPLIT PEACE DRIVE; War and The Working Class Warns Allies to Be on Alert for Papen and Schacht. Impact: Moscow’s warning about Papen and Schacht might have made people hyper-vigilant, leading to a future filled with conspiracy theories about the 'real' powers behind the curtain. Spoiler alert: It’s usually just bureaucracy.. Fact: Papen and Schacht were key players in the Weimar Republic, proving that some names just keep popping up like bad pennies in the history of German politics..
• Headline: A February Chore Which Can Be Removed From the Mysteries of Nature. Impact: The mystery of vine pruning might just have inspired future generations to take up gardening, leading to a global obsession with organic wine—because nothing says sophistication like a home-brewed merlot.. Fact: Pruning vines is an ancient practice; who knew that two thousand years from now, people would still be arguing about the best way to cut a branch?.
• Headline: Brazil Will Adhere to U.S. Coffee Ceiling And Speed Up Shipments to This Country. Impact: Brazil's adherence to the U.S. coffee ceiling resulted in a caffeinated economy, leading to future coffee shop culture that would have hipsters flocking to artisanal brews. Thanks for the caffeine addiction, Brazil!. Fact: The coffee ceiling was designed to stabilize prices, but in reality, it only made everyone increasingly jittery and in need of a double shot of espresso..