JANUARY 29, 1944

Full News Archive

• Headline: Frank C. Groover's Legacy in Jacksonville. Impact: Frank C. Groover's mundane existence in Jacksonville led to the bizarre creation of a secret society of ex-officials who meet every Tuesday to discuss the best brands of coffee. Little did they know, their caffeine-fueled debates would inspire a future Starbucks franchise.. Fact: Frank C. Groover was so influential that his name could have been a coffee brand itself—Groover's Grounds, anyone?.
• Headline: Eldorado Mining Properties Expropriated. Impact: The Canadian government's expropriation of the Eldorado Properties sparked a chain of events that led to an underground movement of war-themed Monopoly games, where players could 'nationalize' properties at will. Who knew board games could be so revolutionary?. Fact: When Canada expropriates properties, they really mean business. Just ask the Monopoly man—he's still looking for his lost properties!.
• Headline: BOND NOTES. Impact: Bond notes were so popular that they inspired a future trend of 'bonding' parties where people would gather to discuss their financial woes while sipping overpriced cocktails. Welcome to the world of adulting!. Fact: Bond notes: the only thing more boring than watching paint dry—unless you’re a financial analyst, in which case, it’s your Super Bowl..
• Headline: COLLEGIATE CZAR ASKED BY ALLEN; Man of Landis Type Needed to Stop Proselyting, Says Coach of Kansas Five. Impact: The call for a collegiate czar led to the eventual rise of a secret society of college coaches who believed they could outsmart the system. Spoiler alert: they couldn't, but they did create an impressive collection of sweatshirts.. Fact: Dr. F C Allen was basically the college sports equivalent of a superhero, minus the cape but definitely with a whistle..
• Headline: Article 8 -- No Title. Impact: The military physical exam article inadvertently led to a future trend where people started taking fitness classes just to avoid awkward medical exams. Who knew dodging a doctor could become a national pastime?. Fact: Physical exams: the original 'no pain, no gain' experience long before it became a gym slogan!.
• Headline: LOCOMOTIVE OUTPUT IS CUT BACK WPB; Order Calls for 25% for Big Type and 35% for Small on Order for Military in '44 DECREASED BY 903 UNITS Revision of Requirements Due to Changes in War Picture -- Other Agency Action LOCOMOTIVE NEEDS CUT BACK BY WPB. Impact: Cutting back locomotive output during the war caused a nationwide increase in 'trainspotting' enthusiasts, who turned their boredom into a hobby, thereby inspiring countless documentaries and a cult classic film.. Fact: Locomotives being cut back is just the universe’s way of saying, 'Did you really need that many trains? Come on!'.
• Headline: RUIN JAPAN! IS CRY; Hull Says Tokyo Even Balks Red Cross Aid to War Prisoners BOMBING OF TOKYO URGED Senator Hatch Proposes Isolating Japanese on Homeland Forever RUIN JAPAN! IS CRY OF AROUSED NATION. Impact: The call to 'RUIN JAPAN!' led to a bizarre twist in history where every subsequent war movie had to include a scene with an overzealous general yelling this phrase, making the phrase a staple in military cinema.. Fact: Hull's statements created a lot of noise, but thankfully he didn't start a band—'The Ruin Japan Collective' sounds like a terrible idea..