NOVEMBER 17, 1943

Full News Archive

• Headline: First Female Chief Deputy Marshal Appointed. Impact: This seemingly mundane appointment set off a chain reaction of women realizing they could hold positions of power, leading to the feminist movements of the 20th century. If only Miss Murphy had known she was basically the spark for a revolution in gender equality!. Fact: Ironically, it was also the first time someone said, 'Why not have a woman in charge?' right before the rest of the world collectively shrugged..
• Headline: Navy Honors Marine with Destroyer. Impact: The naming of the destroyer after a marine sparked a long-standing tradition of naming warships after military heroes, which eventually led to debates over whether naming a ship after someone who 'destroyed' is inappropriate, especially when it gets awkward at reunions.. Fact: Naming ships after people is just a way to remind them that, yes, we appreciate you… until the ship sinks..
• Headline: Assemblyman Muir Advocates for Independence. Impact: Assemblyman Muir's comment about independence ironically triggered a series of events that made legislators more dependent on lobbyists than ever, proving that independence is just a fancy word for 'more meetings.'. Fact: Legislators are like that friend who talks about independence while still living in their parents' basement..
• Headline: Wyoming Town to Eat Buffalo. Impact: Residents eating buffalo led to a sharp increase in buffalo-related cuisine, which eventually made its way into hipster restaurants across the nation. And just like that, buffalo became the new kale.. Fact: It's all fun and games until someone tries to make buffalo-flavored kale chips..
• Headline: Liquor Trade Is Unfair to Public, State Legislative Group Charges; LIQUOR TRADE HELD UNFAIR TO PUBLIC. Impact: This outcry against the liquor trade led to regulations that somehow still allowed for happy hour specials, proving that when it comes to alcohol, lawmakers are always willing to compromise… on the price.. Fact: Unfair liquor trade is a lot like a bad relationship; everyone knows it’s wrong, but nobody's willing to give up the happy hour..
• Headline: Register in Canal Zone for Draft. Impact: The registration for the draft in the Canal Zone led to a strange trend where people began to believe that signing up for a war could be a rite of passage, making 'I got drafted' the new 'I survived college.'. Fact: The Canal Zone is probably one of the few places where people are excited about a draft… but only if it’s not for a haircut..
• Headline: Dudley Retained in Office As President by P.G.A.. Impact: Dudley's retention demonstrated that sometimes, all you need to stay in power is to be the least disliked option, paving the way for political campaigns that are basically just popularity contests.. Fact: Dudley’s campaign slogan was likely 'At least I’m not them,' which is a timeless classic..
• Headline: SCANT FORCE CITED BY M'ARTHUR AIDE; Diller Says Southwest Pacific Has Less Than 5 Per Cent of U.S. Ground Forces OTHER FIGURES ARE GIVEN Statement Is Made in Reply to Navy Report of Strength -- 8,000-Ton Enemy Ship Sunk. Impact: This statement highlighted the strategic miscalculations in military deployments, leading to an increased focus on logistics that still plagues military strategists today, because who doesn’t love a good supply chain issue?. Fact: If only they had known that 'less than 5 percent' would become a common phrase in every corporate budget meeting after this..