SEPTEMBER 13, 1943

Full News Archive

• Headline: Women Urged to Vote in 1943. Impact: Mrs. Straus's passionate plea led to a future where women not only vote but also run for office, resulting in the eventual rise of a global 'Mommy Vote' that swings elections based on who has the best lunchbox ideas.. Fact: Did you know that historically, the only thing more difficult than getting women to vote was convincing them to stop talking about their kids during the voting process?.
• Headline: Dummy Bombs Strike Lockport, 1943. Impact: The incident sparked a series of 'Dummy Wars' where rival towns competed to see who could design the most ludicrous weaponry, ultimately leading to an annual festival celebrating absurd inventions.. Fact: Ironically, the dummies in the bombs were far more effective than the actual military strategies of the time..
• Headline: Tragic Glider Test Claims R.C. du Pont. Impact: Du Pont’s tragic demise created a ripple effect in aviation safety standards, leading to the eventual invention of the 'du Pont Parachute' which is now a staple in every action movie where someone jumps out of a plane.. Fact: Glider tests were so dangerous back then that they made skydiving look like a leisurely stroll in the park. Just without the sidewalks..
• Headline: CANDIDATES ENDORSED BY YOUNG DEMOCRATS; Moskovit Gives 21 Preferences for the City Council. Impact: The Young Democrats' endorsement process became a chaotic game show, leading to future candidates developing catchy jingles and dance moves to win the votes of a more 'entertained' electorate.. Fact: Who knew that recommending candidates could turn into an episode of 'Dancing with the Stars'? Next season’s theme: 'Vote or Die Trying!'.
• Headline: POLING GOING TO ORIENT; New Tour Will Embrace Egypt, India, China and Australia. Impact: This ambitious tour led to a future where leaders would prioritize selfies over diplomacy, inadvertently creating the world’s largest collection of 'I was here' photos.. Fact: Back in the day, traveling meant actually experiencing cultures, not just collecting Instagram likes. Shocking, I know..
• Headline: TO HEAD BROOKLYN DRIVE; Maximilian Moss Chosen Again by Jewish Charities Appeal. Impact: Moss's leadership inspired a multi-generational chain of charitable acts, leading to the creation of 'Moss Points'—a currency for good deeds that, if you collected enough, could get you a free bagel.. Fact: Charity drives have been evolving since the dawn of time, but they never knew they could be so profitable until someone figured out how to charge for the free donuts..
• Headline: Broader Service Act Urged; Austin-Wadsworth Bill, It Is Held, Does Not Go Far Enough. Impact: This call for broader service sparked a bureaucratic vortex that would later result in an endless stream of forms, leading to the invention of the 'Paperwork Olympics.'. Fact: The only thing broader than the proposed service act was the fine print that no one read before signing their lives away..
• Headline: Mussolini Is Taken by Nazis From Italians, Berlin Reports; MUSSOLINI TAKEN BYNAZIS, REICH SAYS. Impact: Mussolini's rescue led to a series of convoluted alliances that could only be described as the worst episode of a soap opera, where the villain keeps returning despite the audiences' collective groans.. Fact: In a twist of fate, Mussolini's eventual downfall was partly due to his own misguided belief that he was a 'rock-star' leader. Spoiler alert: he wasn't..