APRIL 2, 1943

Full News Archive

• Headline: Anti-Trust Action Delayed Due to War. Impact: By postponing anti-trust actions for the war, businesses began to believe they could do whatever they wanted. This eventually led to the creation of the phrase 'too big to fail'—as if we should all just be okay with corporate giants stomping on our rights like they're playing hopscotch on a sidewalk.. Fact: Did you know that 'postponed for war duration' basically translates to 'we'll deal with this later, assuming we survive'? Classic procrastination..
• Headline: Schlatter Appointed Commandant at West Point. Impact: Schlatter arriving at West Point as commandant sparked a chain reaction of military strategies that would lead to countless tactical horror stories, all because someone thought it was a good idea to appoint a guy named Schlatter.. Fact: Fun fact: 'Schlatter' is actually German for 'to slither'—which ironically describes how some military strategies can feel when they're poorly executed..
• Headline: Wandering Mace Incident in Commons. Impact: The return of the Wandering Mace may have seemed trivial, but it inadvertently led to an entire genre of slapstick political comedy. MPs tripping over ceremonial items became a thing, and the rest is history.. Fact: Did you know that 'mace' is also a spice? Perhaps they should spice up Commons meetings with a little less drama and a lot more flavor..
• Headline: MIS. Lri.y B. P. IHOI. Impact: The vague headline about Mrs. Lri.y B. P. IHOI has left historians scratching their heads, leading to the invention of cryptography in an attempt to decode past trivialities—thank you, Mrs. Lri.y.. Fact: Here's a fun fact: The art of confusing headlines has been alive and well since newspapers were invented. We're just glad you don’t have to decipher hieroglyphs anymore..
• Headline: LIVE MONTH ON $27.14 FOOD; California Couple Gain Weight on a Relief Diet. Impact: This couple's attempt to prove that you can gain weight on a relief diet opened the door for future diet fads, including the 'Eat Cake and Lose Weight' movement, which still haunts us today.. Fact: Did you know that if you eat cake while thinking about salad, it counts as healthy eating? Science, folks!.
• Headline: PAY RISE MEASURE PASSED IN JERSEY; Compromise Bill Gives Bonus and Wage Increase to Those Earning Up to $5,000 DURAND, DARBY RENAMED Greer Is Replaced on the Local Government Board by E.J. Howe of South Orange. Impact: The passing of the pay rise measure was a turning point that encouraged local governments to think they could help people in need—what a wild concept! This led to the eventual rise of public sector unions demanding more than just crumbs.. Fact: Fun fact: The phrase 'compromise bill' means 'let's do the bare minimum and hope nobody notices.' Spoiler alert: They always notice..
• Headline: Soviet War Output Rises. Impact: The increase in Soviet war output created a ripple effect that led to the entire Cold War. Thank you, Pravda, for opening Pandora's box—who knew industrial growth could lead to global paranoia?. Fact: Did you know that 'Pravda' means 'truth' in Russian? Ironically, that’s the last thing you’d find there..
• Headline: Tax Offices to Stay Open Until 6 Two Saturdays. Impact: Keeping tax offices open late might have inadvertently inspired a new generation of procrastinators who think that deadlines are just suggestions. Spoiler: They're not.. Fact: Did you know that tax season is the only time of year when people willingly choose to lose sleep? Ah, the joys of adulthood!.
• Headline: PRESIDENT PRAISES GINSBURG'S RECORD; He Writes Brown That Counsel of OPA Was Persuaded Not to Enter Army Service PRICE LAWS AS FIRST DUTY Executive Regrets Commission for an Overseas Job Was Refused by the Army. Impact: Ginsburg's refusal to enter the army not only saved him from potential doom but also solidified the idea that some people are just too important to serve—leading to a long-standing debate about privilege and duty.. Fact: Fun fact: Not all heroes wear capes; some write letters to the President instead. Also, they definitely don’t stand in line for the draft..