MARCH 8, 1943

Full News Archive

• Headline: Mysterious Event in Downey, 1943. Impact: This mysterious headline hints at a secret code among time travelers. As it turns out, decoding it led to the invention of time-traveling coffee, which is currently fueling procrastination across the ages.. Fact: Did you know that Thomas Downey once tried to convince a time traveler that coffee was a magical potion? Spoiler: it wasn’t..
• Headline: Draft Expansion for Men Aged 38-45. Impact: The decision to draft men aged 38 to 45 sparked an unexpected boom in the farming community. This accidental rise in rural jobs led to a nationwide obsession with organic kale that persists to this day. Thanks, World War!. Fact: Fun fact: 4-H was so influential that without it, the term 'farm-to-table' might have just been a suggestion for a restaurant name instead of a lifestyle..
• Headline: S Burt's War Songs Awarded. Impact: S. Burt's 'War Songs' became the anthem for rebellious squirrels in the 1950s, leading to a bizarre movement where they protested for better acorn distribution rights.. Fact: Did you know that S. Burt’s War Songs were so catchy that they were almost adopted as official military anthems? Guess they stuck to the classics..
• Headline: 'Rql[N E. GA.BRI'ELS SB.. Impact: The name 'Henry E. Gabriels' became a password for a secret society of historians who believed they could rewrite history based on how well they played darts. Spoiler alert: it didn't work.. Fact: Did you know that Henry E. Gabriels once tried to patent a time machine made of cardboard? It didn’t pass safety inspections... or logic..
• Headline: CENTRAL STUDYING POST-WAR TRANSIT; Research Council Made Up of Officers Is Investigating Types of Competition EXTENSIVE CHANGES SEEN System Reduced its Capital Obligations $51,318,857 in 1942, Williamson Says. Impact: The extensive changes in post-war transit led to the creation of the first carpool lane, which would eventually cause the world's first traffic jam on a Saturday morning in 1956. Talk about a ripple!. Fact: Did you know that F.E. Williamson’s innovative ideas for railroads almost led to a nationwide obsession with model trains? Thank goodness for adult responsibilities!.
• Headline: 'First American Claim' Is Staked in Europe. Impact: Staking the 'First American Claim' in Europe set off a series of unfortunate events, leading to a centuries-long debate on whether or not Americans can lay claim to pizza toppings. It’s still a hot topic!. Fact: Did you know that dropping a flag from a Flying Fortress was considered a bold move? It was also the original inspiration for the modern-day pizza delivery method!.
• Headline: CLAICE H. 1Vl. Impact: Meyer’s story is lost to history, but some say he once tried to sell insurance to a family of time travelers, claiming it would cover 'time-related mishaps.' Spoiler: they didn’t buy it.. Fact: Did you know that Clarence H. Meyer thought he could outsmart time itself by putting a policy on it? The policy still hasn’t paid out..
• Headline: ASKS U.S. TO SEIZE COAST PLANE PLANT; A.F.L. Mechanics at San Diego Protest Over Wage Rise Granted in WLB Decision ADMIRAL BYRD IN WARNING Japanese Had Foreknowledge of Labor Unrest in Air Factories, He Says at Seattle. Impact: The protest over wage rises may have inadvertently inspired the 'Labor Day' holiday, turning workers' frustrations into a day of barbecue and napping—an unexpected victory for labor rights!. Fact: Did you know that Admiral Byrd's warning about labor unrest caused panic among air factory workers? They thought he meant they were going to be replaced by robots. Spoiler: they weren't..
• Headline: PERCIVAL BERESFORD; Phoenix Indemnity Co. Ex-Head Once Underwriters'. Impact: Percival Beresford's influence in the insurance world led to the creation of what we now know as 'insurance memes'—a vast online community dedicated to sharing the most outrageous insurance claims.. Fact: Did you know that Percival Beresford once tried to insure a time machine? The policy was deemed too risky, even for an insurance company..
• Headline: MERRILL N. DAVIS. Impact: Merrill N. Davis was rumored to have a crystal ball that could predict the stock market. When it broke, Wall Street panicked, leading to the invention of the phrase 'crystal-clear decisions.'. Fact: Did you know that Merrill N. Davis once claimed he could time travel using nothing but a deck of cards? Ironically, he lost the deck in a game of poker..