FEBRUARY 18, 1943

Full News Archive

• Headline: Manpower Challenges During World War II. Impact: This analysis convinced the government that more figures needed to be crunched, leading to the invention of spreadsheets. Now we have an entire generation of people who can pivot tables but can't make eye contact.. Fact: Did you know that back then, manpower issues were resolved with actual manpower? No robots, just good old-fashioned human labor—what a concept!.
• Headline: Lawyer-Mechanics Dismissed From War Factory. Impact: The unexpected job loss led to a surge in the legal profession, as these lawyer-mechanics quickly became experts in 'how to sue your employer for emotional distress after losing your job.'. Fact: Isn't it ironic that the people who fix things are now the ones needing fixing themselves? Life really has a sense of humor..
• Headline: LAUDS STREAMLINING OF RETAIL FUNCTIONS; Thursh Says Macy Survey Has Indicated Big Economies. Impact: This survey inspired retail giants to adopt the 'just-in-time' inventory system, eventually leading to the modern shopping experience where you can buy a t-shirt but the store is out of every size except 'tiny.'. Fact: Macy's once sold everything from perfume to furniture. Now they focus on selling you the 'experience' of browsing while you ignore their online sales..
• Headline: Coblentz Heads Contractors. Impact: This election set the precedent for future contractor heads to not only lead projects but also to make questionable decisions that lead to budget overruns and lots of 'What were they thinking?' moments.. Fact: O B Coblentz probably had a business card that read: 'I fix problems you didn't know you had, at a cost you cannot afford.'.
• Headline: FORTY YOUTHS WIN IN 'TALENT SEARCH'; Boys and Girls Are Finalists for Westinghouse Scholarships. Impact: This event sparked an educational arms race, leading to the eventual creation of reality shows where contestants compete for scholarships instead of cash prizes—because who needs money when you can win student debt?. Fact: These finalists were probably just trying to impress their parents. Who knew that a scholarship would lead to a lifetime of loans and ramen noodles?.
• Headline: WARNS CREDIT MEN ON WITHHOLDING TAX; Baron Urges Firms Be Made to Keep Funds for Payments Separate From Assets. Impact: This warning led to a multitude of accounting scandals, as firms confused separating funds with separating themselves from any sense of morality.. Fact: It's funny how separating funds is just like separating laundry—if you don't do it right, you're going to end up with a big mess on your hands!.
• Headline: CITY GARDEN PLAN WINS MAYOR'S AID; He Approves Establishment of 250,000 Plots but Warns of 'Elbow Work' Entailed. Impact: This initiative led to a gardening boom that caused an unforeseen spike in DIY home improvement shows, resulting in more people growing tomatoes than ever before—because who doesn't want to be a backyard farmer?. Fact: LaGuardia was a master of multitasking—who else could handle city gardens while also trying to keep the streets clean? Talk about green thumbs and dirty hands!.
• Headline: PETRILLO LOSES PLEA TO DISMISS NEW SUIT; Judge Who Ended Earlier Action Says Other Issues Are Raised. Impact: This legal battle inspired countless courtroom dramas in film and television, eventually leading to the widespread belief that lawyers are just as dramatic as the clients they represent.. Fact: Petrillo's life could be a soap opera—conflict, courtroom drama, and a touch of scandal. All that's missing is a catchy theme song..
• Headline: Coast Guard Gets Hotel. Impact: Acquiring this hotel meant the Coast Guard could now provide luxurious accommodations for their officers, leading to an unexpected trend of coast guard members becoming travel bloggers. Who knew saving lives also came with room service?. Fact: The Coast Guard getting a hotel is like a firefighter getting a water park—what's next? A Navy ship getting a luxury spa? Sign me up!.