FEBRUARY 5, 1943

Full News Archive

• Headline: Nurse's Aides Support WAAC Physical Examinations. Impact: In the years that followed, the increased involvement of nurse's aides in military examinations led to an unexpected rise in the popularity of army-themed reality TV shows, as producers realized that people love watching medical mishaps with a side of camouflage. Fact: Nurse's aides were once thought to be just glorified coffee makers for doctors. Turns out, they were the unsung heroes of the health care battlefield.
• Headline: Wage Formula Fight Supported by Union. Impact: The fight over wage formulas eventually led to the formation of the 'Great American Wage Wars,' a series of debates and dance-offs to determine who really deserves that extra dollar. Fact: Labor councils always seem to be fighting about wages, yet the only thing that seems to be rising consistently is the price of avocado toast.
• Headline: Historic Jersey Restaurant Shuts Down. Impact: The closure of this restaurant sparked a movement that led to the rise of 'war food,' a culinary revolution that involved repurposing old rations into gourmet dishes, which is basically just hipster cuisine today. Fact: When restaurants close during a war, the first question everyone asks is, 'But what about the fries?'.
• Headline: SOLDIER'S MEDAL AWARDED; Army Hero Honored for Saving Life of Companion. Impact: This soldier's act of bravery transformed him into the poster child for a new line of superhero action figures, proving once again that valor is best expressed through plastic. Fact: The Soldier's Medal is the military equivalent of getting a gold star in kindergarten, but with a bit more blood and guts involved.
• Headline: ALCOHOL RING SENTENCED; Giallo, Head of Gang, Given Heaviest Punishment. Impact: The sentencing of this alcohol ring led to increased demand for underground speakeasy-style bars, where people could sip cocktails in peace while pretending they were in a 1920s gangster movie. Fact: The only thing more surprising than an alcohol ring being sentenced is the fact that they thought they could get away with it in the first place. Spoiler alert: they couldn't.
• Headline: FIANK DWYER. Impact: Frank Dwyer's life and works inspired an entire generation of writers who believed they, too, could become famous if they only used a typewriter and coffee as their best friends. Fact: Frank Dwyer: proof that you can write your way to fame, or at least write your way to a very passive-aggressive memoir.
• Headline: RANDOLPH BLINN, 55, WRITER AND EDITOR; Foreign Correspondent for the Hearst Publications, 1920-27. Impact: Randolph Blinn's foreign correspondence not only shaped public opinion but also inadvertently sparked a trend of dramatic news anchors who can’t resist adding an emotional flair to their reports. Fact: Being a foreign correspondent means you can travel the world and still be stuck answering the question, 'So, what's the weather like there?'.
• Headline: Nelson Tells Manpower Needs. Impact: Comments on manpower needs led to the creation of the 'Manpower Olympics,' where workers competed for productivity medals, proving that we can turn anything into a competition. Fact: Manpower figures are just another way of saying, 'We have no idea how many people we need, but we think it’s somewhere between one and a million.'.
• Headline: MEAT RATION CUT INDICATED BY OPA; Supply May Require Limit of Less Than 2 Pounds a Week Per Person, Officials Say FINAL FIGURE UNDER STUDY ' Bedrock' for Civilian Is Put at 104 Pounds a Year, 3 Over Allotment in England. Impact: The meat ration cut became the catalyst for the rise of vegetarianism in the years to come, resulting in a generation of hipsters who think kale is a food group. Fact: Rationing meat is just another way of saying, 'Congratulations, you’ve officially become a rabbit for the duration of this conflict.'.