JANUARY 18, 1943

Full News Archive

• Headline: Clothes Rationing and Fashion Resilience. Impact: When British fashionistas learned to make a chic outfit from a single sock and a piece of string, it sparked a global trend of minimalist living. Fast forward to 2023, and now people are paying exorbitant prices for 'vintage' one-sock outfits. Thank you, WWII!. Fact: The phrase 'less is more' was actually coined by a frustrated husband trying to convince his wife that their closet was just fine with two shirts and a pair of pants..
• Headline: Centennial Celebration of Bridgehampton Church. Impact: The 100th anniversary of a church sermon led to a resurgence of interest in ancient texts, sparking a renaissance of dusty bookshops and the return of the hipster beard. Who knew a sermon could have such a fashion impact?. Fact: The first pastor was so good that he inspired a whole century of attempts to replicate that initial success – talk about setting the bar high!.
• Headline: 175th Anniversary of Brick Church. Impact: As people prayed for allies, a secret society of cats formed, believing they were the true allies in the fight against human incompetence. This led to an eventual global cat uprising in 2050.. Fact: Brick churches were originally built to withstand the forces of nature, unlike the temporary structures we call 'pop-up coffee shops' today..
• Headline: MRS. FRANCES GEDDES, THEATRICAL DESIGNER I; Wife of Norman Bel Geddes Helped Husband's Enterprises. Impact: Mrs. Frances Geddes' designs were so influential that they accidentally inspired the entire genre of 'theatrical design' – and we’re still trying to figure out how to differentiate it from 'living room décor.'. Fact: Norman Bel Geddes was not just a designer; he was also known for his questionable fashion choices – like wearing a beret to every event..
• Headline: News of Food; With Shortage of Butter Due to Continue It Behooves Housewife to Save Waste Fats. Impact: Housewives saving waste fats inadvertently led to the rise of 'gourmet' cooking, wherein chefs now charge you $50 for a dish with 'sustainable fats' they salvaged from their trash bins.. Fact: Waste fats were once considered trash, but now they're a trendy ingredient. Just wait until they start charging for 'vintage' waste fats at hipster restaurants..
• Headline: FIRST LADY LAUDS BRITISH SACRIFICES; Says We Must Understand to Be Prepared to Deal With Nations of World. Impact: The First Lady’s call to understand the sacrifices of the British led to an international competition on who could endure the most ridiculous of sacrifices for the sake of fashion—spoiler alert: it was still the British.. Fact: First Ladies are like superheroes – they save the day, but their powers are often overshadowed by their husband's questionable decisions..
• Headline: City Reservoirs Full First Time in a Year. Impact: Reservoirs being full led to an unanticipated surge in people bragging about their water conservation skills, leading to a very serious competition over who could save the most water while showering.. Fact: The Croton reservoirs were so full that they sparked rumors of a secret underwater city, which people still discuss at cocktail parties with a serious glint in their eyes..
• Headline: NATIONAL ANTHEM ENDS 'RED MASS'; Washington Worshipers Sing It First Time at Such a Rite at Catholic Shrine WALLACE AMONG THE 1,500 Dean Smith Bids Legislators Keep Human Dignity in Mind and Make the Law 'Holy'. Impact: The singing of the national anthem at a Red Mass started a trend of mixing religion and patriotism, ultimately leading to a series of bizarre national holidays dedicated to singing in the shower.. Fact: The idea of a 'holy' law was likely born from a very tired legislator who just wanted to get through the day without losing their sanity amid endless debates..