JANUARY 15, 1943

Full News Archive

• Headline: OPA Enforcement on Scrap Prices in 1943. Impact: As New Jersey and New York wrestled with copper prices, a group of rogue smelters decided to start a secret black market for shiny metals. This led to the rise of a new underground economy where people traded scrap metal for artisanal pickles, eventually leading to the hipster movement of the 21st century.. Fact: Scrap metal was once considered so valuable that people would fight over it. Today, people fight over who gets to use the last avocado on their toast..
• Headline: Tributes to Poet Arthur Guiterman. Impact: The memorial of Arthur Guiterman prompted an unforeseen surge in poetry appreciation, resulting in the unexpected rise of open mic nights in coffee shops everywhere, where aspiring poets read works filled with existential dread and questionable rhymes.. Fact: The last line of Guiterman's most famous poem was so profound that it caused an entire generation to leave their day jobs in pursuit of creative fulfillment... or at least a really good Instagram post..
• Headline: Civil War Veteran Passes Away at 97. Impact: With the passing of W.R. Howland, a 97-year-old Civil War veteran, historians began to realize that the Civil War generation was slowly drifting into legend. This led to the creation of the annual 'Civil War Ghost Convention,' where descendants of veterans share tales of their ancestors, often embellished with ghostly details.. Fact: Howland was 97 when he died, a reminder that some people are just too stubborn to kick the bucket, even after a century of questionable decisions..
• Headline: State Banking Chief Names Aide. Impact: The appointment of a new aide to the state banking chief sparked a revolution in banking bureaucracy, where every state agency turned into a 'who's who' of aides. This caused a ripple effect, resulting in long lines at DMV offices as everyone wanted to be someone's aide.. Fact: In the world of banking appointments, the phrase 'it's not what you know, it's who you know' is taken very seriously... and apparently also applies to state aides!.
• Headline: GEORGE A. WATSON; Associate Editor of National Underwriter for 24 Years. Impact: George A. Watson's 24 years at the National Underwriter inspired a wave of people to take up editing as a profession. Unfortunately, it also led to the proliferation of dull newsletters, making everyone question their life choices.. Fact: Watson's tenure was such a long stretch that he could have written a self-help book titled 'How to Survive 24 Years of Editing Without Losing Your Mind.' Spoiler alert: it involves a lot of coffee..
• Headline: MISS PEARL ZANES; Instructor at Western Michigan Taught in East Orange' 15 Years. Impact: Miss Pearl Zanes' teaching stint at Western Michigan created a secret society of former students who meet annually to reminisce about the joys of learning and debate whether they actually learned anything at all.. Fact: Teaching for 15 years in East Orange is like a badge of honor; it means you've survived countless parent-teacher conferences and yet still manage to love the profession..
• Headline: Big U.S. Troop Force Arrives in Britain. Impact: The arrival of U.S. troops in Britain turned the tide of World War II and inadvertently set the stage for a very awkward Thanksgiving dinner decades later when American soldiers and British locals debated the merits of stuffing versus Yorkshire pudding.. Fact: The only thing more awkward than American troops in Britain? Trying to explain Thanksgiving to someone who believes 'the colonies' are still a thing..
• Headline: 2 HELD FOR SABOTAGE; One Jersey Suspect Said He Wanted to Sleep Off Hangover. Impact: The sabotage incident involving hangover-induced machinery damage led to the establishment of a 'Sober Up or Get Fired' policy in factories, which ironically made drinking in the workplace more of a challenge than ever.. Fact: Nothing says 'team player' like getting arrested for sabotage after a night of heavy drinking. Cheers to that level of commitment!.
• Headline: TWO QUAKES FELT IN NEW ENGLAND; Parts of All Six States Are Shaken by Shocks Centering Off Cape Ann and Portland Quakes Centered Off East Coast Shake Six New England States. Impact: The earthquakes in New England were a reminder that Mother Nature has a wicked sense of humor and can shake things up literally. This led to an uptick in earthquake preparedness classes, where people learned how to duck and cover and also how to make a mean cup of coffee during a crisis.. Fact: New Englanders are so used to shaking things up—whether it’s an earthquake or a snowstorm—that they practically have a PhD in survival tactics..