DECEMBER 12, 1942

Full News Archive

• Headline: New Draft Study Ordered by President. Impact: This new draft study led to a bizarre series of events where federal employees, instead of just seeking deferments, formed a secret society dedicated to the preservation of office snacks. This 'Snack Guard' eventually influenced American snack culture for decades.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more convoluted than federal policies is the number of times people have to reheat their coffee at work..
• Headline: Editor Accused of Cannon Theft in 1942. Impact: The theft of the cannon became a pivotal moment in American history, leading to the establishment of the 'Cannon Restoration Society' which later developed into a highly secretive group of eccentric collectors who also hoard rare garden gnomes.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'On Some Dark Night' is often used to describe most of my weekends?.
• Headline: VICTORIAN JEWELRY SHOW; 800 Rare Pieces on Exhibition in Franklin Simon Lounge. Impact: This jewelry show sparked a global obsession with Victorian fashion, leading to an unexpected revival of corsets, top hats, and the inexplicable need for everyone to start collecting mustaches.. Fact: Did you know that Victorian jewelry was so heavy it could double as a form of self-defense? Now that’s what I call multitasking!.
• Headline: Topics of The Times. Impact: The editor’s trip provided a blueprint for future travel writers, who would go on to create the genre of 'I went to Paris and all I got was this lousy article' which still plagues us today.. Fact: Did you know that 'Topics of The Times' is just a fancy way of saying, 'We couldn't think of anything newsworthy today'?.
• Headline: News of Food; A Heart, if You Win One, Is Good Stuffed -- Facts on Iron, Thiamin and Niacin Sources. Impact: The heart cooking hints inadvertently led to a culinary revolution where chefs began incorporating unusual ingredients into gourmet dishes, culminating in the infamous 'Beef Heart Surprise' that caused quite the stir at dinner parties.. Fact: Did you know that the heart is considered a delicacy in some cultures? Not so much in mine, unless it's Valentine's Day..
• Headline: WINDSOR BRINGS BAHAMAS AID PLAN; Duke Expects to Discuss His 'New Deal' for Old Industries During Florida Visit. Impact: The Duke's aid plan for the Bahamas ignited a bizarre trend where other royals began crafting their own 'New Deals' for various islands, leading to a global competition on who could come up with the silliest tropical initiative.. Fact: Did you know that the last time a Duke had a ‘New Deal’, it was just a really bad attempt at a beach party?.
• Headline: Would Bar Dogs From Stores. Impact: The proposal to bar dogs from stores triggered a nationwide outcry that led to the formation of the 'Canine Civil Liberties Union,' which eventually negotiated the right for dogs to hang out in coffee shops but not in high-end boutiques.. Fact: Did you know that dogs are more popular than people in most stores? Just ask any dog; they’ll tell you!.
• Headline: LESTER C. BLACK. Impact: Lester C. Black's brief mention in the headlines became a meme in the future, where people would jokingly reference him as the 'Black Hole of News,' sucking all relevance out of the headlines.. Fact: Did you know that Lester C. Black is not a superhero, though he certainly sounds like one? 'Fear not, for Black is here!'.