DECEMBER 11, 1942

Full News Archive

• Headline: T.B. Butler Elected as Bank President. Impact: T.B. Butler's election as president of the Safe Deposit and Trust Company set off a chain reaction where every bank president thereafter would need to figure out increasingly ridiculous ways to declare dividends, leading to the invention of the 'dividend dance' at corporate parties. Fact: Did you know that T.B. Butler’s full name was actually Theodore B. Butler? But who needs a full name when you can just go by initials and sound mysterious?.
• Headline: ARREST OFFICER AT CAMP; Fort Lewis Authorities Consider Sedition Charges. Impact: The arrest of the officer at Camp Lewis for alleged sedition sparked a rumor mill that would lead to the creation of the weekly 'Conspiracy Corner' newsletter among soldiers, which, ironically, was completely harmless. Fact: Sedition charges are like the adult version of being sent to your room – no one really knows what they mean, but they sound serious.
• Headline: Bill for Steel Pennies Passed. Impact: The passing of the bill for steel pennies caused a minor economic revolution, leading to the invention of a new currency exchange rate where people would trade pennies based on their shininess. Fact: The steel penny was actually a terrible idea – it turns out people were more excited about the concept of a three-cent piece than the actual coins themselves.
• Headline: R.A.F. Hits Turin Heavily On Second Successive Night; R.A.F. AGAIN HITS HEAVILY AT TURIN. Impact: The R.A.F. bombing Turin led to a series of retaliatory bombings that would eventually inspire a popular video game series, where players could reenact historical events with far less collateral damage. Fact: The R.A.F. actually had a secret club called 'The Turin Fan Club' – their meetings were only for those who could name all the cities they bombed.
• Headline: 3 MUGGERS GUILTY OF KILLING SOLDIER; Jury Asks Mercy for One in Harlem Slaying, Others to Die. Impact: The conviction of the muggers in Harlem marked the beginning of a trend where juries started to ask for mercy for one member of a group, leading to future courtroom dramas where judges would get more confused than the jurors. Fact: It's almost poetic that a jury asked for mercy – because nothing says 'I'm sorry' quite like a court ruling.
• Headline: TEACHERS APPEAL TO POLICE TO CURB UNRULY STUDENTS; Alarmed Also by Assaults of Intruders, Guild Goes Over Heads of School System REASSURED BY VALENTINE Situation in Hand, Is View of Dr. Wade, Who Also Promises Remedial Measures TEACHERS DEMAND POLICE PROTECTION. Impact: The teachers' plea for police protection sparked a nationwide trend of teachers becoming part-time vigilantes, leading to the birth of 'The Pedagogical Avengers', a group that fought crime with pop quizzes. Fact: If only teachers had known that asking for police support would eventually lead to reality TV shows about classroom chaos – they might have kept quiet.