DECEMBER 2, 1942

Full News Archive

• Headline: War Powers Bill Faces Crucial Hearing. Impact: If this bill had been passed without much scrutiny, it's possible that we would have seen a world where the U.S. casually engaged in conflicts over coffee beans, simply because Congress was too busy bickering over lunch orders.. Fact: Did you know that war powers bills are like the ultimate 'just in case' plans? It's like buying a life jacket for a pool party. Spoiler alert: it’s not really needed..
• Headline: 1942 Annual Meeting Highlights. Impact: This could have led to an alternate reality where every board meeting was actually a yoga session. Imagine the flexibility of ideas, or just a lot of awkward silence while everyone stretches.. Fact: Fun fact: 'flexible' in corporate speak often means 'we have no idea what we're doing but we're going to pretend it’s innovative!'.
• Headline: Army-Navy E Award Presentation. Impact: Without a title, this article may have inspired a generation of journalists to publish blank pages in protest of the tyranny of titles. The literary world has never been the same since.. Fact: Did you know that 'Article 8' is the name of the mysterious secret society that meets in basements to discuss the merits of untitled articles? Or maybe it’s just a typo..
• Headline: U.S. MISSION IN AUSTRALIA; Will Arrange Supply of Raw Materials for War Work. Impact: This mission could have accidentally triggered a national obsession with Australian accents in U.S. workplaces, forever altering the way Americans pronounce 'G'day!'. Fact: Fun fact: This mission made the term 'raw materials' a hot topic at parties—who knew that supply chains could be so riveting?.
• Headline: 6,000 SHIP WORKERS STRIKE IN MAINE; South Portland Employes Walk Out in Dispute Over Rate Classifications IS CALLED 'UNAUTHORIZED' A.F.L. Union Chief Says Men Acted on Own -- Chrysler Welders Go Out. Impact: This strike might have been the catalyst for every 'walkout' meme ever, leading to a generation that believes striking is a valid way to get out of awkward family dinners.. Fact: Did you know that striking is often just a fancy way of saying, 'We'd rather stand outside in the cold than deal with our bosses?'.
• Headline: GEM 'FENCE' SENTENCED; Joseph Arnold to Serve 9 Months for Buying Breyer Loot. Impact: Had Arnold not been sentenced, the underground gem trade might have turned into a reality show, with contestants competing for the title of 'Best Fence'—drama guaranteed!. Fact: Did you know that 'fence' in this case refers to a person who sells stolen goods? Not to be confused with your neighbor’s picket fence, which is just as shady in a different way..
• Headline: Hopes of Refrigerator Makers For More Copper in '43 Dispelled; WPB Official Tells Engineers New Steel Shell Casings Will Not Mean Industry Will Get Additional Quantities. Impact: Had there been more copper, we might have seen refrigerators that could also double as WiFi hotspots—imagine asking your fridge for the weather!. Fact: Did you know that refrigerator makers have been known to hoard copper like it’s the last slice of pizza at a party? It's a serious business!.
• Headline: LABOR PLANS TO FIGHT A LONGER WORK DAY; State Leaders Warn Against Any Legislative Move. Impact: If labor had not fought against longer workdays, we might have all ended up working 12-hour shifts in pajamas—ah, the dream!. Fact: Fun fact: The longer workday is like the mythological creature of labor discussions—everyone talks about it, but no one wants to see it in action..