NOVEMBER 28, 1942

Full News Archive

• Headline: Railway Reorganization to Avoid Bankruptcy. Impact: If this bankruptcy hadn't been resolved, perhaps we would have all been riding horses again. Imagine the traffic jams caused by horses! People might have invented horse lanes, and who knows how that would have changed the entire course of urban planning!. Fact: Railroads: the original 'fast' food service, because who wouldn't want a three-hour delay while stranded in the middle of nowhere?.
• Headline: Rev R E Savage Resigns for War. Impact: Reverend Savage leaving the church for war could have led to a massive shortage of sermons, possibly resulting in the first 'War Sermon' podcast that would have gone viral in the 21st century!. Fact: War has a funny way of separating people from their jobs. It's like the world's least appealing game of musical chairs..
• Headline: Faulty Traffic Plan Criticized in 1942. Impact: Had this traffic plan actually worked, we might have been living in a utopia where cars didn't exist. Instead, we'd have teleportation devices and would never have to hear the words 'bottleneck' again!. Fact: Traffic plans are just like diets; everyone has one, but nobody really sticks to it..
• Headline: HAROLD FAR. Impact: Harold Far might have been just a name, but what if he was the unsung hero of the time? Perhaps he was destined to create a line of stylish fedoras that would have swept the nation!. Fact: Harold Far: possibly the most enigmatic figure since the invention of the question mark..
• Headline: FRANK M'NAMARA, 44, AIDED A. HECKSCHER; uxcutor of the Estate Was His Confidential Advise. Impact: Frank McNamara's influence could have meant his advice shaped a generation of estate planning. Imagine a world where estate planning was as trendy as avocado toast!. Fact: McNamara's estate advice: because who wouldn't want to leave their heirs with a fortune and a lifetime of confusing paperwork?.
• Headline: Utility Seizure Is Upset. Impact: Had the utility seizure stood, we might have seen a revolution of power companies. Imagine a world where we barter with electricity like it's a precious gem!. Fact: Utility companies: the only place where the phrase 'you'll pay for it later' is taken literally..
• Headline: LOUIS H. FUESS, 44, A DEPUTY TX AIDE; Commodities Bureau Head in Same State Department Is Dead in Albany HELD SMITH APPOINTMENT Named Treasurer of Madison County to Fill Unexpired Term, Later Elected. Impact: This merger could have sparked a trend of corporate marriages. Imagine a future where companies go on honeymoon trips and have little corporate babies!. Fact: Corporate mergers: because who doesn't want to throw their personality into a blender and hope for the best?.
• Headline: VITAMIN C FOUND TO CURB HAY FEVER; The Bigger the Dose Up to 1,000 Milligrams the More Relief, Data in Report Show. Impact: The Newfoundland Memorial could have led to a series of memorials across the globe, each one more elaborate than the last. By now, we might have had a Memorial Day for every single person who ever existed!. Fact: Memorials: the world's way of saying, 'We remember you... as long as we can build something big and expensive in your honor.'.
• Headline: Propose Newfoundland Memorial.