OCTOBER 21, 1942

Full News Archive

• Headline: President Backs Norris for Senate. Impact: If Norris hadn’t been backed by the President, it’s possible that Nebraska would have become a hotbed for partisan squabbles, leading to a timeline where political debates devolved into annual mud wrestling contests. Can you imagine the debates? ‘I propose a tax cut!’ ‘Well, I propose to dropkick you!’. Fact: Did you know that this endorsement was so dramatic that historians suspect it caused Nebraskans to invent a new flavor of corn called 'Partisan Popcorn'? It was a little salty with a hint of betrayal..
• Headline: War Ban Warning for Truck Owners. Impact: As truck owners scrambled to file their applications, they accidentally invented rush-hour traffic. This led to a nationwide epidemic of honking, which in turn inspired the first traffic symphony — Beethoven would’ve been proud.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'honk if you love peace' originated from this event? It’s true! Just kidding, but it should have..
• Headline: MURRAY ASKS RISE FOR TRANSIT WORKERS; Talks With Mayor and Delaney on Wage Demands. Impact: If transit workers had received their wage rise, it’s theorized that public transport could have transformed into a luxury experience, complete with champagne service and live entertainment. ‘Next stop, Broadway!’. Fact: Interestingly, this event led to the first-ever 'Transit Workers’ Union of Comedians' being formed. They claimed the best way to lighten the mood during delays was through stand-up comedy. Who doesn’t want a good laugh while waiting for the bus?.
• Headline: LABOR INDIGNANT; LAND 'MISQUOTED'; Admiral Denies Using 'Union' or 'Labor' in Referring to Organizers in Talk Here. Impact: This misquotation sparked a series of protests that eventually led to the establishment of the National Association of Misquoted Individuals. Their motto? 'We may not have said it, but we definitely meant it!'. Fact: Did you know that misquoting someone can actually boost their popularity? Just ask any celebrity who’s ever been caught in a scandal — they practically become icons overnight!.
• Headline: BOND SELLERS ASK BAN ON PRICE PLANN; Controllers Tell SEC That Its Over-Counter Move Would Raise Financing Cost BOND SELLERS ASK BAN ON PRICE PLAN. Impact: This financial fuss led to a secret society of bond sellers who communicated through interpretive shadow puppets to avoid being caught discussing prices. It was the most sophisticated form of communication until emojis came along.. Fact: Fun fact: The phrase 'buy low, sell high' actually originated from this event, but it was misattributed to a fortune cookie company. They weren’t even in the bond business!.
• Headline: TWO SHARE $12,500 IN HARPER CONTEST; Julian Green and John Andrew Rice 'Dual Selection' for Non-Fiction Manuscript ENTRIES NUMBERED 750 Both Books Deal With Lives of the Authors, in France and South Carolina. Impact: The contest winners' success led to an unexpected spike in the writing of autobiographies, which eventually resulted in a publishing craze where everyone suddenly thought their lives were as interesting as they actually weren’t.. Fact: Did you know that after this contest, the phrase 'I should really write a book' became the number one excuse for procrastination? Alongside 'I’ll start my diet tomorrow.'.
• Headline: DOROTHY THOMPSON QUITS COUDERT FOES; Repudiates Use of Her Name for Rally Tonight at Which She Had Agreed to Speak SEES 'SMEAR' CAMPAIGN Writes to Senator That She Is Convinced He Has 'No Fascist Leanings Whatsoever'. Impact: Her quitting the rally led to a dramatic shift in public perception of political rallies, transforming them from serious gatherings into more of a social event — think brunch meets political discourse, complete with mimosas.. Fact: Interestingly, Dorothy Thompson’s decision led to the creation of ‘The Smear Campaign Cocktail’ — a blend of bitterness and sweet denial that remains a favorite among political pundits to this day..
• Headline: 15 BILLIONS VOTED BY SENATE FOR WAR; Bulk of Second Supplemental Appropriation Bill of Year Will Go to the Navy 14,611 PLANES PROVIDED Amendment Aimed at McNutt Requires Confirming Nominees for Manpower Commission. Impact: The auto rate cut led to a sudden influx of new drivers on the road, which then caused a butterfly effect resulting in the invention of the traffic cone. Because if you’re going to crash, you might as well do it with style.. Fact: Did you know that after this rate cut, insurance companies saw a rise in claims for ‘spontaneous joyrides’? Apparently, happiness can be hazardous!.
• Headline: AUTO RATE CUT APPROVED; State Insurance Department Acts After Hearing Here.