SEPTEMBER 9, 1942

Full News Archive

• Headline: Bomb Planting Incident at Western Electric. Impact: After this incident, every plant worker across the nation began to carry a miniature bomb detection kit, resulting in the first ever 'Bomb-spotting' festival in New Jersey—complete with fireworks, because irony.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'bomb-planting' wasn't a thing until this incident? It was usually reserved for gardening enthusiasts..
• Headline: Premium Pay Deadline for War Workers. Impact: This demand set off a chain reaction that would lead to the creation of 'Casual Fridays' in corporations, where workers now wear Hawaiian shirts while secretly resenting their 9-to-5 existence.. Fact: Fun fact: The auto industry is where 'weekend warrior' was born, but we all know that's just a fancy term for 'stressed-out worker trying to enjoy life.'.
• Headline: Key Decisions Announced from London Talks. Impact: This led to a new era where every political decision was followed by a press release, resulting in an increase of press conferences and a decrease in actual decision-making. You're welcome, history.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'decisions made' is the political equivalent of 'we're working on it'? Spoiler alert: they're usually not..
• Headline: Control for Trucks, Buses, Cabs, 5 Million Vehicles, After Nov. 15; Hearses and Ambulances, but Not Motorcycles, Included in Order Designed to Aid in Conserving Gasoline and Rubber ODT WILL CONTROL TRUCKS,BUSES, CABS. Impact: This led to an underground motorcycle gang forming, consisting of angry bikers who were just trying to enjoy their freedom. They eventually became the first advocates for motorcycle rights—who knew?. Fact: Did you know that controlling vehicles in wartime is a bit like herding cats? Except the cats are angry and have a penchant for gas guzzling..
• Headline: Five Marines' Schools Moved. Impact: This seemingly mundane administrative move prompted an entire series of military-themed reality shows, turning marine training into a spectator sport—because who doesn’t want to watch boot camp on TV?. Fact: Did you know that moving schools is one of the top 10 worst things for kids? Imagine the marines trying to transfer credit hours!.
• Headline: Chiang Gives Post to Dr. Hu. Impact: This appointment led to a series of diplomatic cocktails that would later inspire generations of world leaders to think they could solve problems over a drink—spoiler alert: they couldn't.. Fact: Did you know that appointing ambassadors is like playing chess, except instead of a checkmate, you just get awkward dinner parties?.
• Headline: DELAYS MUZZICATO RULING; But Court Promises an Early Decision in Political Suit. Impact: The delays in this ruling resulted in 17 more lawsuits, 14 of which were filed by absolutely baffled lawyers trying to make sense of it all. The legal world was never the same.. Fact: Did you know that 'delayed justice' is just another name for 'lawyers getting paid to play the waiting game'?.
• Headline: President's Powers; Lincoln and Wilson Left Precedents for Expansion of Executive Domain. Impact: This set a precedent that would lead to every president since then thinking they could do whatever they wanted—thank you, history, for creating a power-hungry monster!. Fact: Did you know that every time a president expands their power, a historian sheds a tear? It's a sad cycle, really..
• Headline: GLASS PLANT IDLE IN WILDCAT STRIKE; Most of Kimble Company's 2,400 Employes Quit in Row Over Wages and Hours WORKING ON U.S. ORDERS Makers of Medicinal Items Had Just Been Told They Won Army and Navy 'E'. Impact: This strike led to the creation of the phrase 'wildcat strike,' further inspiring workers everywhere to spontaneously quit in style. The legacy of rebellion lives on!. Fact: Did you know that wildcat strikes are just the labor movement's way of throwing a tantrum? Who needs a formal announcement when you can just storm out?.