AUGUST 28, 1942

Full News Archive

• Headline: Truck Union Rejects Employers' Proposal. Impact: Had the truck union accepted the proposal, we might have seen the rise of a new form of transportation: the 'Federal Truck Service'—complete with government-mandated snack breaks and a nationwide trucker karaoke competition.. Fact: Unions have been known to reject proposals since the dawn of time, or at least since the invention of the coffee break..
• Headline: Labor and Industry Bond Drive Begins. Impact: The success of the payroll deduction plan could have led to an alternate universe where everyone is a professional saver, and coupon clipping becomes an Olympic sport. Gold medals awarded for best savings strategies!. Fact: 10% payroll deductions were originally proposed as a way to prevent people from buying unnecessary items—like 20 pairs of shoes that don't match any outfits..
• Headline: Legal Insights on Executive Power and Inflation. Impact: If lawyers could successfully limit executive power over inflation, we might have seen a world where the President could only control inflation through interpretive dance—because who needs legislation when you can shimmy your way to economic stability?. Fact: Legal experts have debated inflation for decades, which is ironic since their fees tend to inflate faster than any economy..
• Headline: Kaiser's Company Is Sued by OPA On 'Black Market' Steel Charge; KAISER CO. IS SUED OVER 'BLACK' STEEL. Impact: Kaiser’s black market steel saga could have opened up a new niche in the economy: 'Under the Table Construction,' where contractors use secret materials obtained through whispered deals in dark alleys.. Fact: Black market dealings often lead to some very creative explanations—like 'I thought that was a fake ID, not a ton of steel!'.
• Headline: Sentences on Germans Canceled. Impact: Cancelling sentences for those pillaging factories could have sparked a trend in which criminals were celebrated as 'business innovators'—because who doesn’t love a good rags-to-riches story, especially when it involves dubious ethics?. Fact: The only thing more confusing than post-war sentencing is trying to keep track of all the factories that were 'relocated' to Germany in the 1920s..
• Headline: Books of the Times. Impact: The publication of 'Books of the Times' could have led to a world where readers were mandated to read a book a week under the threat of social ostracism—imagine the horror!. Fact: Book recommendations have been around since the dawn of literacy, often resulting in heated debates over whether or not 'War and Peace' should count as a light read..
• Headline: $100,000 Movie Suit Dismissed. Impact: The dismissal of the $100,000 movie suit may have encouraged producers to pour even more money into questionable films, leading to the cinematic masterpiece: 'Attack of the 50-Foot Accountant.'. Fact: Dismissed lawsuits often lead to much more entertaining outcomes than the original case, like movie plots that actually make sense..
• Headline: Leather Clip Might Be Useful. Impact: The leather clip innovation could have changed the fashion industry, leading to a new trend of leather sheets being used for everything from jackets to furniture, and eventually someone creating leather toilet paper—because why not?. Fact: Leather goods have been around for centuries, but thankfully, leather sheets for everyday use have yet to come into vogue—who wants a couch you can't sit on comfortably?.