AUGUST 1, 1942

Full News Archive

• Headline: Poliomyelitis Outbreak in Elizabeth, NJ. Impact: The rise in polio cases in Elizabeth led to a nationwide panic, which ultimately resulted in an oversupply of bubble wrap as parents attempted to protect their children. This obsession carried on for decades, influencing everything from packaging to children's play areas.. Fact: Polio was so feared that parents would consider anything short of a full hazmat suit to keep their kids safe. Spoiler alert: It didn't work..
• Headline: Remembering Major Paul Killiam. Impact: Paul Killiam's death inadvertently sparked a secret society of Boston lawyers who believed they were the reincarnation of historical figures. This led to an annual gathering where they would argue over who had the best legal arguments in history—spoiler: they all lost.. Fact: Being an Army Reserve Major and a lawyer is quite the juggling act. Just imagine him trying to argue a case while dodging bullets!.
• Headline: British Air Offensive Against Nazis. Impact: The relentless bombing raids during this period fostered a peculiar trend where British citizens began to regard air raid sirens as a new form of avant-garde music. This musical revolution would inspire a generation of artists to explore 'explosive beats.'. Fact: As if World War II wasn’t enough drama, the British used bombings to inspire their next big musical act. Who knew war could be so... entertaining?.
• Headline: FRUITS OF RESEARCH. Impact: The research on employee speed-up suggestions inadvertently inspired a corporate culture of 'more is less,' leading to the rise of the coffee-fueled, sleep-deprived worker who thinks productivity is a marathon and not a sprint.. Fact: Ah, the fruits of research: where the only thing that gets sped up is the coffee consumption, not actual productivity..
• Headline: MR. TAFT'S FIVE POINTS. Impact: Senator Taft's proposals to revise price floors led to a secret underground economy of barter systems that flourished in basements across America, where people exchanged cans of beans for old vinyl records.. Fact: When in doubt, just barter. Who needs a stable economy when you can trade your old socks for a loaf of bread?.
• Headline: J. CHARLES DE SOLA; Founder and Senior Partner in Commission Firm Dies at 77. Impact: J. Charles De Sola's death resulted in a massive shift in commission firms, leading to the emergence of overly dramatic eulogies that were more about the deceased's business acumen than their actual life—because who doesn't love a good sales pitch?. Fact: Being a founder means you’re forever remembered, even if your legacy is just a really convincing sales pitch..
• Headline: RULING UNANIMOUS; Supreme Bench Backs President's Power Over Invader Saboteurs GENERALS RESUME TASK Hear Final Pleas for Nazis -- Verdict, Due Soon, to Go to Roosevelt for Review COURT BACKS TRIAL OF NAZIS BY ARMY. Impact: The Supreme Court's ruling on the President's power over invader saboteurs paved the way for the creation of an underground network of 'legal rebels' who believed they could outsmart the system, often with hilarious consequences.. Fact: Nothing says 'freedom' like a court ruling that allows your government to trial your enemies. What could possibly go wrong?.
• Headline: U.S. Soldier Spanks Mary Churchill As Retort to Jest Over His Big Feet; Truck Driver, With 14EE Shoes and Hands to Match, 'Paddles' the Prime Minister's Daughter as a Joke at Party. Impact: The amusing incident with the soldier and Mary Churchill sparked a trend of playful but somewhat inappropriate pranks between soldiers and aristocrats, leading to a series of regrettable royal parties featuring slapstick humor.. Fact: Nothing says 'diplomacy' quite like a playful spanking. Who knew the secret to international relations was all in the wrist?.
• Headline: ACADEMY OF MEDICINE GETS $170,796 BEQUEST; Sister of Dr. Norris Left Fund for His Memorial. Impact: The Academy of Medicine's bequest led to an influx of medical research on bequests itself, resulting in a bizarre trend where people were more concerned about their legacies than their health—a true testament to priorities gone awry.. Fact: A bequest is great and all, but let’s hope you’re not waiting to die just to get a little cash flow!.