JULY 22, 1942

Full News Archive

• Headline: Massive Rubber Drive Yields Over 454,000 Tons. Impact: After Roosevelt's rubber drive, people became obsessed with recycling to the point where the phrase 'one man's trash is another man's rubber tire' became a national slogan, inadvertently creating a thriving black market for used gym mats.. Fact: Did you know that rubber has been responsible for more awkward conversations than any other material? Just ask anyone trying to explain why they have a collection of old tires..
• Headline: Suspect Apprehended in Garment Area Thefts. Impact: The capture of this hold-up suspect led to an unprecedented spike in 'bad guy gets caught' movies, ultimately inspiring a generation of criminals to consider more creative career paths, such as interpretive dance.. Fact: Fun fact: Most hold-up suspects have better luck in the arts than in crime. Just look at the success rate of ex-cons who become motivational speakers!.
• Headline: Higgins Seeks to Reverse Cancellation. Impact: Higgins' optimism became a rallying cry for the perpetually hopeful, leading to the establishment of several support groups for people who feel encouraged about absolutely nothing.. Fact: Did you know that feeling encouraged is often just the universe's way of setting you up for a spectacular disappointment? Keep that chin up!.
• Headline: GEORGES BERR, 76, PLAYRIGHT, AGTOR; Former Member of Comedie Francaise Troupe, Who Began Writing in 1925, Dies CO-AUTHOR OF SUCCESSES Often Collaborated With Louis Verneuil -- 'Guignol,' in 1930, Was One of Their Hits Wireless. Impact: Georges Berr's death marked the end of an era, leading to a sudden spike in nostalgia-themed plays, which ironically made audiences long for a time when they didn’t have to sit through nostalgia-themed plays.. Fact: Did you know that Georges Berr once tried to write a play about rubber? It was a flop, but it did inspire a whole generation of playwrights to never take advice from rubber manufacturers..
• Headline: COOL AIR MASS ENDS TWO-DAY HEAT WAVE; Mercury at 84, or 10 Above Normal -- 3 Swimmers Drown. Impact: The end of the heat wave and subsequent drownings created a new trend in summer safety campaigns, leading to the infamous slogan 'Swim Like It's a Heat Wave!' which is still used by the clueless today.. Fact: Did you know that drowning is the only activity that can turn a refreshing swim into a tragic headline? Talk about a buzzkill!.
• Headline: Hull to Tell Nation Exact Status of War. Impact: Hull's announcements about the war's status led to a series of public misunderstandings, resulting in a national obsession with guessing games about post-war dilemmas—think '20 Questions' but with global consequences.. Fact: Did you know that 'exact status of war' is just a euphemism for 'we have no idea what we're doing'? Makes you feel better about your own life choices, right?.
• Headline: GAVE $60,000 TO BE IN 1A; William Saroyan Can Now Be Drafted -- to Join Up Here. Impact: Saroyan's generous donation created a ripple effect that made people feel guilty about not giving money, leading to a national crisis of conscience where everyone suddenly became a philanthropist, albeit temporarily.. Fact: Did you know that giving $60,000 is a surefire way to avoid a draft? Just ask Saroyan—he was basically the poster child for 'buying your way out of responsibility.'.
• Headline: TAGS FOR CHILDREN APPROVED IN STATE; War Council Will Ask General Cooperation in Use of Fibre Identification Discs ACCEPTS TRANSPORT PACT Orders of ODT Will Be Adopted -- Highway Clearance Plan in Emergencies Set Up. Impact: The approval of child tags led to a bizarre future where kids wore dog tags, causing an increase in confused pet owners who couldn’t figure out why their dogs were suddenly being called by their children’s names.. Fact: Did you know that identifying children with tags was the precursor to the invention of those embarrassing 'mom and dad' shirts? Nothing says 'I love you' like a matching outfit!.