JULY 12, 1942

Full News Archive

• Headline: Scott Aviation Launches Employee Insurance. Impact: If Scott Aviation hadn't insured its staff, we might have seen a mass exodus of employees, leading to the rise of a new underground aviation industry run by cats. How's that for a plot twist?. Fact: Employee insurance: because who wouldn't want their workplace to be a little less of a death trap?.
• Headline: Gasoline Rationing Cuts in 1942. Impact: Cutting gasoline rations might have led to a dramatic decrease in road rage incidents, thus creating a world where people actually enjoyed their commutes. Imagine that!. Fact: Gasoline rations: the original 'let's see how long we can make this last' challenge..
• Headline: Rising War Costs in 1942. Impact: The staggering war expenses might have encouraged future generations to prioritize thriftiness, leading to the Great Depression 2.0, where people hoarded toilet paper and canned beans.. Fact: Spending $159 million a month on war is kind of like buying a yacht when you can barely pay rent. But go off, I guess..
• Headline: Fair Is Planned In East Hampton; Members of Society Will Aid At the 47th Annual Village Event on July 31 Fair Is Planned In East Hampton. Impact: The Village Fair planning might have sparked the idea of community gatherings that eventually morphed into the global phenomenon of reality TV. Thanks, East Hampton!. Fact: Village fairs: where you can enjoy overpriced lemonade while wondering why you didn’t just stay home..
• Headline: Says Nazis Use Foes as Horses. Impact: If the Nazis had actually used civilians as horses, we might have seen a bizarre fashion trend of horse saddles becoming the latest in human couture.. Fact: Using civilians as horses? Talk about taking 'horsepower' to a whole new level!.
• Headline: FRANCO SAID TO PLAN RETURN OF MONARCHY; Berlin Sources See Early Move to Put Don Juan on Throne. Impact: Franco's monarchy plans might have led to a resurgence in royal family-themed reality shows, with Don Juan as the reluctant star who just wanted to binge-watch Netflix.. Fact: Restoring a monarchy is one way to spice up a dictator's legacy—because who doesn’t love a royal scandal?.
• Headline: Exhibition of War Relics Will Open Here On Tuesday With an Invitation Preview; Greater New York Fund-USO Joint Appeal Will Gain -- Public to Be Admitted Wednesday. Impact: The exhibition of war relics could have inspired a new generation of collectors, leading to the creation of elaborate reality shows about hoarding memorabilia and the strange things people hold onto.. Fact: War relics: perfect for those awkward conversations at parties when you need to show off how much you know about history!.
• Headline: As Lincoln's Friends Recalled; LINCOLN AMONG HIS FRIENDS. A Sheaf of Intimate Memories. Assembled and annotated by Rufus Rockwell Wilson. 506 pp. Caldwell, Idaho: The Caxton Printers. $5.. Impact: Lincoln's friends reminiscing might have sparked an entire genre of historical memoirs, eventually leading to today's obsession with celebrity memoirs that no one asked for.. Fact: Lincoln had friends? Shocking. I thought he just sat alone in a dark room plotting how to save the nation..
• Headline: U.S. Army Signal Chief Is in Britain for Planning. Impact: The arrival of the U.S. Army Signal Chief in Britain could have led to the invention of Morse code-based texting, forever changing how we ignore each other.. Fact: Signal planning in wartime: the original 'send me a smoke signal' text..
• Headline: Sheriff Convicted as Court Orders Doubting Jurors to Accept Evidence; ROCKLAND SHERIFF GUILTY IN LOTTERY. Impact: The sheriff's conviction might have opened the door for a new wave of lottery regulations, resulting in a future where lottery tickets become the new gold standard for investment.. Fact: Being a sheriff and getting convicted? That's just a plot twist waiting for a Netflix documentary..