JUNE 26, 1942

Full News Archive

• Headline: LaGuardia Expands War Powers in 1942. Impact: LaGuardia's power grab led to a series of increasingly ridiculous mayoral demands, culminating in a future where mayors could only be elected if they correctly guessed how many hot dogs could fit in the city hall.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more inflated than LaGuardia's war budget was his ego..
• Headline: tANSEVG B. ROBINSON Event Overview. Impact: This mysterious headline propelled B. Robinson into a cult status among time travelers who love cryptic messages, leading to conspiracy theories that he was actually a time-traveling ninja.. Fact: You know, if you squint hard enough, you might just see the hidden messages in this headline... or just a typo..
• Headline: Walking Distance to Work in 1942. Impact: The Gallup poll's findings led to a nationwide 'Walking to Work Day' that resulted in millions discovering their feet are not just for pressing the gas pedal.. Fact: In a shocking twist, it turns out that walking two miles is much easier than sitting in traffic for two hours. Who knew?.
• Headline: 3 DOCTORS GUILTY IN ABORTION CASE; Woman Attacks a Member of Jury After the Verdict Is Returned -- Not Arrested RUNNER' ALSO CONVICTED Members of 'Ring' Face Long Sentences -- Court Praises Attorneys for Conduct. Impact: The conviction of these doctors inspired a future generation of medical professionals to ensure that the only thing they ever performed in a back alley was a dramatic exit.. Fact: Abortion laws have changed since then, but the ability to attack jurors after a verdict? Still a classic!.
• Headline: BANK OF CANADA REPORTS; Circulation, Dominion Deposits Lower in Week. Impact: The Bank of Canada's report on lower deposits triggered a financial panic that led to the invention of a new currency: the 'I.O.U. Pizza'.. Fact: Spoiler alert: The lower circulation wasn't because people were hoarding cash; they were just saving for the next big trend—Bitcoin..
• Headline: Bridge for Aid of USO. Impact: The bridge for the USO led to a future where every charitable event had to include a bridge or face the wrath of a very disappointed public.. Fact: Nothing says 'we care' like a bridge party, right? Next up: a bake sale on the Brooklyn Bridge!.
• Headline: FRED W. CLARK. Impact: Fred W. Clark’s name was lost to history, but his legacy lives on in the countless Freds who were mistakenly called 'W.' in every official document ever since.. Fact: You'd think with a name like that, he’d have some sort of impact on history. Turns out, he was just very... average..
• Headline: NELSON IS MAPPING MORE SCRAP DRIVES TO GET WAR METAL; Truman Committee Is Told We Outstrip Axis Production, but Must Build Reserves TO TAKE CIVILIAN COPPER Progress Is Seen Against Steel Plate Shortage -- Dormitories Are Planned for Workers NELSON IS MAPPING MORE SCRAP DRIVES. Impact: Nelson's scrap drives inspired future generations to start hoarding scrap metal, leading to an unexpected boom in the 'DIY War Effort' trend.. Fact: Who knew that saving tin cans could be a patriotic duty? Scrap metal collectors today are basically modern-day heroes..
• Headline: MORE BINOCULARS WANTED; Navy's Plea Brings 1,654 Pairs, but Needs Are Far Greater. Impact: The Navy's binocular plea led to a future where every citizen owned a pair, igniting a nationwide obsession with spying on neighbors, and thus, reality TV was born.. Fact: In a twist of irony, the Navy found the most binoculars were sent back to them by people who just wanted them for bird watching..