MAY 30, 1942

Full News Archive

• Headline: Archive Discovery: Army Camp Papers 1942. Impact: The army papers were so confusing that they inadvertently sparked a new trend in bureaucratic jargon, resulting in the creation of the 'Office of Obfuscation' in 1973.. Fact: Ed on army papers is code for 'extra dull.' Who knew paperwork could be a snooze fest?.
• Headline: HOBART S. OHNSOI.. Impact: Hobart S. Ohnsoi’s rise to prominence somehow led to a dramatic increase in the number of people named Hobart, creating a generation of confused children wondering why their parents chose such an archaic name.. Fact: If you say 'Hobart' three times in a row, he might just appear to give you unsolicited advice..
• Headline: MISS WEBB GUILTY BUT ESCAPES CHAIR; TWO OTHERS TO DIE; Recommendation of Mercy by Jury in Murder of Mrs. Reich Saves Ex-Model NEW OUTBREAK IN COURT 'Murderer!' Shrieks Shonbrun to Prosecutor -- Cullen Is Unshaken by Verdict MISS WEBB GUILTY BUT ESCIPES CHAIR. Impact: Miss Webb's trial and subsequent verdict sent shockwaves through the legal community, inspiring a whole new genre of courtroom dramas that glamorized crime and attracted future felons like moths to a flame.. Fact: In legal terms, 'escaping the chair' is just fancy talk for 'I’ll be back—probably.'.
• Headline: Drescher Named to ODT Post. Impact: Drescher's appointment led to an unexpected uptick in 'transport conservation' courses, which ironically resulted in more people using public transport while trying to avoid carpool karaoke.. Fact: If you can’t find H J Drescher, he’s probably out saving the planet one transport conservation meeting at a time..
• Headline: ALBF_]RT M.-BLODGETT...i; Builder of: 12-Mile CausewayI Protecting. Galveston, .Texas .. Impact: Blodgett's construction of the 12-mile causeway inadvertently inspired future generations to build even longer bridges, leading to a series of increasingly ridiculous engineering contests.. Fact: The 12-mile causeway is a perfect metaphor for how long it feels to wait for your coffee at a busy café..