MAY 6, 1942

Full News Archive

• Headline: McNutt Appoints Key Manpower Officials. Impact: By naming F V Harper and A J Altmeyer, McNutt unknowingly set off a chain of bureaucracy that would lead to the establishment of overly complex government job titles and endless committee meetings, making the phrase 'let's circle back on that' a staple in American politics for decades.. Fact: Did you know that in an alternate timeline, McNutt's aides were actually named F V Harper and A J Altmeyer because they were secretly superheroes in disguise? Spoiler: they saved no one..
• Headline: Food Pool Proposal at Child Congress. Impact: The suggestion to form a food pool inadvertently led to the rise of communal eating and potlucks, where everyone brings a casserole, and nobody knows who made it—or if it’s even edible. Thanks, Venezuela!. Fact: Did you know that the first potluck was just a way for people to avoid cooking? Yep, it’s true—everyone just pretended they were contributing to society..
• Headline: Anti-Hoarding Pleas in Theatres. Impact: The anti-hoarding campaign in theaters led to an unexpected surge in popcorn prices, as people began hoarding snacks instead of actual goods, causing a popcorn monopoly that lasts to this day.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing people hoard more than toilet paper is popcorn during a blockbuster movie? Priorities, right?.
• Headline: BIDS CONGRESS LET RADIO STAY FREE; Mullen of NBC Says American Broadcasting System Must Survive Any Law Change DISCRETIONARY RULES HIT Witness Asks House Committee Not to Discriminate Against Stations Newspapers Own. Impact: The plea to keep radio free opened the floodgates for unsolicited talk shows, leading to the eventual rise of reality TV, where everyone could be famous for simply existing. Thanks, Mullen!. Fact: Did you know that 'free radio' was just the beginning of people screaming into microphones for the rest of eternity?.
• Headline: Women Are Classified for Factory Jobs In Three Groups in War Industries. Impact: Classifying women for factory jobs redefined gender roles in the workforce, leading to the eventual creation of the phrase, 'I can do anything a man can do—while wearing heels.'. Fact: Did you know that the women classified for factory jobs were actually just trying to escape the housework? Talk about a power move!.
• Headline: OTTO T. STRUCK; Magician, Who Once PerformedI in White House, Dies at 70 J. Impact: Otto T. Struck's death marked the end of an era for White House performances, leading to a desperate search for entertainers, which ultimately birthed the concept of the Presidential Correspondents' Dinner. Thanks, Otto.. Fact: Did you know Otto could pull a rabbit out of a hat, but couldn't pull the nation together? Magic, indeed..
• Headline: FOR DEWEY FOR GOVERNOR; Republican Business Women's Club Endorses Him. Impact: Dewey's endorsement ignited a political firestorm, inspiring future generations to believe that if you have enough endorsements, you can be elected even if no one knows what you stand for.. Fact: Did you know that the Republican Business Women's Club was just a fancy way of saying 'we’re too busy to care about what actually matters'?.
• Headline: Sigma Chi to Honor Andrews. Impact: The honor bestowed upon Rear Adm A Andrews inadvertently led to a new trend of honoring anyone with a title, paving the way for the 'Everybody Gets a Trophy' mentality in modern society.. Fact: Did you know that Sigma Chi's honors used to mean something? Now, they just mean you showed up to a meeting and had snacks..
• Headline: PREACHER ASKS GODLINESS; Dr. Jones Says He Has No Confidence in Method of War. Impact: Dr. Jones's call for godliness in war set off an existential crisis in the military, leading to countless debates over whether they were fighting for freedom or just a really intense game of dodgeball.. Fact: Did you know that Dr. Jones's confidence in the method of war was about as reliable as a GPS in the middle of nowhere?.