MARCH 24, 1942

Full News Archive

• Headline: Ohio War Plant Wage Controversy. Impact: If Jack & Heintz hadn't pocketed those impressive bonuses, we might have never seen the rise of corporate greed that led to the Great Recession. So thanks for that, Ohio.. Fact: The only thing more inflated than those bonuses was the ego of the company president..
• Headline: Youth Driving Restrictions Proposed in Westchester. Impact: This push for curbs on youthful drivers eventually led to the invention of the 'parental GPS tracking app'—because nothing says 'freedom' like your mom knowing your every move.. Fact: Surprisingly, the number of teenagers who can parallel park is still zero..
• Headline: Cuban City Rocks from Earth Tremors. Impact: The tremors in Santiago de Cuba served as an early warning that Mother Nature was in a bad mood, probably due to humanity’s continued disregard for her.. Fact: Cuban tremors—because why have a boring Tuesday when you can shake things up?.
• Headline: OS RRI. Impact: The mysterious 'OS RRI' remains unsolved to this day, leading conspiracy theorists to believe it was actually a secret government agency monitoring our snack choices.. Fact: If you say 'OS RRI' quickly, it sounds a lot like 'Oh, sorry, really irrelevant!'.
• Headline: VISCOUNTESS ALLENBY. Impact: Viscountess Allenby’s influence may have led to the establishment of tea parties that could rival modern-day political debates—just add crumpets and passive-aggressive small talk.. Fact: Fun fact: If you ever need to feel fancy, just add 'Viscountess' to your name and watch the respect roll in..
• Headline: DESTINY AND STAFFORD CRIPPS. Impact: The relationship between Destiny and Stafford Cripps likely inspired countless soap operas, leading to a dramatic increase in viewers who just wanted to see someone’s heart get broken.. Fact: Let’s be honest, if you’re named Destiny, you’re probably destined for drama..
• Headline: WESTCHESTER SEEKS PLANNING BOARD CURB; Supervisors Approve Bill to Prevent Veto on Expenditures. Impact: When Westchester sought to curb vetoes on expenditures, it set a precedent for future politicians to bicker over the budget like children squabbling over candy.. Fact: Vetoes are like that one friend who always has to have the last word—annoying yet somehow essential..
• Headline: VINCENT W. CORN-ELL. Impact: Vincent W. Cornell’s legacy may have paved the way for the Cornell University we know today—where students spend more time debating pizza toppings than studying.. Fact: Vincent W. Cornell never actually attended college; he was too busy being awesome..
• Headline: 8,000 ALIEN SEAMEN HUNTED FOR CREWS; Deserters' Round-Up Ordered by Biddle to Aid Arms Flow -- Many Picked Up Here 8,000 ALIEN SEAMEN HUNTED FOR CREWS. Impact: The round-up of alien seamen not only showcased America's desperate need for workers but also led to the invention of the 'alien sailor' stereotype that still haunts sci-fi conventions.. Fact: If you ever wondered why sailors have such a bad reputation, this event might just be the root cause..
• Headline: To Assist War-Work Firms. Impact: The formation of assistance for war-work firms was the first step towards creating the modern day job fair—where awkward small talk meets questionable career choices.. Fact: Job fairs are basically adult versions of school dances, but with less awkward slow dancing and more awkward handshakes..